ArrivalIcy9717 t1_jefgqzk wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:59 PM

Reply to comment by StellarManatee in My (25F) boyfriend (28m) is on holiday and adding girls on instagram during nights out by [deleted]

yeah I’ve given him the opportunity to be truthful about it. He keeps getting frustrated each time saying he keeps saying everything’s fine. He said he’s just adding people he meets who speak English because they’re not easy to find (he’s in European capital cities? so many people will be able to speak English). He keeps saying I don’t trust him etcetc and that he’s anxious and stressed and having a tough time whenever I ask him about it.

StellarManatee t1_jefhc5c wrote on March 31, 2023 at 5:02 PM

Ok first, as you deduced its extremely common to find English speakers in European cities so that's bull. Has he followed any insta accounts of "English-speaking" men? Or is it just hot women?

ArrivalIcy9717 t1_jefklmx wrote on March 31, 2023 at 5:24 PM

No just women, and I wanted to bring that up

StellarManatee t1_jeflnws wrote on March 31, 2023 at 5:31 PM

Tbh I'd be inclined to bring nothing else up with him until he gets back. I wouldn't contact him unless he contacts you. Pull back from this mess.

How long have you been together?

ArrivalIcy9717 t1_jefm1x2 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 5:33 PM

Yeah I think that’s what I’m gonna do. We’ve been seeing each other since October last year. Trying to settle issues like this while he’s away is hard so I’m just gonna wait til he gets back

StellarManatee t1_jefpuc9 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 5:58 PM

Yeah... even if he hasn't cheated if this is his behaviour on a holiday (befriending "english speakers" but only the hot girls ones) then use this time apart to figure out is this guy worth wasting more time on. In the meantime go take some time to yourself. Rest and pamper yourself. By the time he comes back you'll know whether or not to continue the relationship after he's quite deliberately given you a miserable time while he was gone.

ArrivalIcy9717 t1_jefr5uk wrote on March 31, 2023 at 6:07 PM

Yeah I’ve been worried sick over this for days now, unable to eat properly and finding going to work and getting out really difficult. I’m going to my friend’s house over the weekend to have a distraction. This behaviour from him has been a bit of a turn off tho tbh, if he can’t be respectful enough of boundaries as small as simply not going through girls insta pages when he’s saying he can’t message me, then it might be better to find someone who can be respectful of those things

StellarManatee t1_jefs3sh wrote on March 31, 2023 at 6:13 PM

Exactly. Nobody is worth this and if he was a decent man he would never have put you through this. Enjoy the weekend with your friend, have a great time and you'll feel better for it. Good luck.