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StellarManatee t1_jefflsj wrote

> I trust him to just go out and have fun with friends

I think your trust might have been misplaced.

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ArrivalIcy9717 t1_jeffva8 wrote

it’s only recently that his attitude has completely changed, hence my trust before all of this

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StellarManatee t1_jefga80 wrote

Well then something happened with one of these insta girls that changed his attitude. Or he wants something to happen.

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ArrivalIcy9717 t1_jefgqzk wrote

yeah I’ve given him the opportunity to be truthful about it. He keeps getting frustrated each time saying he keeps saying everything’s fine. He said he’s just adding people he meets who speak English because they’re not easy to find (he’s in European capital cities? so many people will be able to speak English). He keeps saying I don’t trust him etcetc and that he’s anxious and stressed and having a tough time whenever I ask him about it.

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StellarManatee t1_jefhc5c wrote

Ok first, as you deduced its extremely common to find English speakers in European cities so that's bull. Has he followed any insta accounts of "English-speaking" men? Or is it just hot women?

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ArrivalIcy9717 t1_jefklmx wrote

No just women, and I wanted to bring that up

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StellarManatee t1_jeflnws wrote

Tbh I'd be inclined to bring nothing else up with him until he gets back. I wouldn't contact him unless he contacts you. Pull back from this mess.

How long have you been together?

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ArrivalIcy9717 t1_jefm1x2 wrote

Yeah I think that’s what I’m gonna do. We’ve been seeing each other since October last year. Trying to settle issues like this while he’s away is hard so I’m just gonna wait til he gets back

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StellarManatee t1_jefpuc9 wrote

Yeah... even if he hasn't cheated if this is his behaviour on a holiday (befriending "english speakers" but only the hot girls ones) then use this time apart to figure out is this guy worth wasting more time on. In the meantime go take some time to yourself. Rest and pamper yourself. By the time he comes back you'll know whether or not to continue the relationship after he's quite deliberately given you a miserable time while he was gone.

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ArrivalIcy9717 t1_jefr5uk wrote

Yeah I’ve been worried sick over this for days now, unable to eat properly and finding going to work and getting out really difficult. I’m going to my friend’s house over the weekend to have a distraction. This behaviour from him has been a bit of a turn off tho tbh, if he can’t be respectful enough of boundaries as small as simply not going through girls insta pages when he’s saying he can’t message me, then it might be better to find someone who can be respectful of those things

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StellarManatee t1_jefs3sh wrote

Exactly. Nobody is worth this and if he was a decent man he would never have put you through this. Enjoy the weekend with your friend, have a great time and you'll feel better for it. Good luck.

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joe-dirt-1001 t1_jefjtqo wrote

It's a single holiday.

He will get home and tell you how all the guys were doing it and he just had to fit in.

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ArrivalIcy9717 t1_jefkpjl wrote

one of the other guys has a girlfriend too which reassured me slightly when he first started going out loads

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joe-dirt-1001 t1_jefllm6 wrote

I get the going out and it's to be expected. Any of them being married or having partners means nothing in my book. In this situation it boils down to your trust in your partner and hopefully you know some of the friends and their history.

Having said that, he's apparently lying to you, and disrespecting you by not being an adult and having a real conversation about what's going on. He's going to come home and spew some BS about you ruining his vacation, but what really happened is you called him out on his behavior and he is throwing a tantrum.

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ArrivalIcy9717 t1_jefny32 wrote

Oh yeah 100% I never had an issue with him going out. I know all of the friends he’s on holiday with and they’re all decent guys.

He’s already saying I’m making him anxious and that he’s just trying to enjoy his time on holiday but he can’t because he’s worried about me. Not worried enough to actually message me and check in though

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Dirty_Questions69 t1_jefeuav wrote

What types of pics is he liking on instagram?

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ArrivalIcy9717 t1_jeff5cp wrote

They’re all hot girls, and he’s liking multiple pictures they’ve posted of themselves throughout their feed

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Dirty_Questions69 t1_jefffjh wrote

I don’t think your being unreasonable. You should start following some hot guys on instagram and liking their pics too, and see if he says anything.

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ArrivalIcy9717 t1_jeffqt6 wrote

he said he wouldn’t care at all. Even if he would care I have no desire to do that since it would put me in the wrong too, and I don’t have the energy to be petty and follow random guys I don’t find attractive for the sake of it. Thank you for the advice tho

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LongjumpingAgency245 t1_jefqony wrote

Then, put it to the test. Let's call it an experiment. Get your squad and go out and post some photos with hot guys. Just get the photos. You can let them know what you are doing in case you are concerned about leading them on. Follow a few of them. See what he does.

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