Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

Kalaanii t1_jea1ad2 wrote

Reply to comment by spilgrim16 in My (f18) partner (m37) has sex with me for too long and I feel like it’s disrespectful by [deleted]

He hasn’t had like the typical life of a 37 year old so I kinda get his perspective and he wants a kid before 40 and I want kids young so w that aspect I think we match but he definitely doesn’t respect my boundaries

−69

spilgrim16 t1_jea1kgt wrote

If he doesn't respect your boundaries the conversation stops there. That isn't the recipe for a healthy or happy long term relationship and even if you don't stay together if you reproduce you'll be forced to have a relationship forever whether you want one or not.

Edit: PS, having the self confidence to dump someone because they don't respect your boundaries comes with experiences. It's why having a child super young is often a bad idea, you don't know yourself, relationships and the like well enough to know if the person you want to have a baby with is someone you should do that with. And I'm sure there are 18 year olds here or there who have that maturity but most don't, and there is nothing wrong with not having it yet. If you couldn't get to the point of recognizing you should dump this guy on your own, you probably don't have it yourself, at least not yet.

23

Jane_Says_So t1_jea49b9 wrote

Do you think he’s going to respect your boundaries as a mother? What about the children’s boundaries? This is a recipe for disaster and dysfunction. It’s already started.

16

Kalaanii t1_jea4fpe wrote

I really dont doubt him being a good father idk how he would treat me but I hope if someone mothers their child theyd be respectful

−25

Hal_Jordan55 t1_jea4nzl wrote

what evidence do you have of that? You've been dating for 6 months and most of it is just sex, you don't know this person at all.

If he wants you to mother his child, he should be respectful, and clearly he is not.

15

Kalaanii t1_jea4u0k wrote

He has a lot of wisdom and he’s super caring and nurturing like w/ his family members and me too

−23

Hal_Jordan55 t1_jea553s wrote

Your entire post is proof that isn't true. You clearly are not mature enough for a child.

20

Deedogg1304 t1_jea95z6 wrote

I tnink you are a troll but for shits and giggles... why do you say he hasntbhad a normal life of a 36 year old man?

8

Kalaanii t1_jea9co2 wrote

Been to prison for a while and had to take care of family members for years even in his 20s

0

Jane_Says_So t1_jea8ytd wrote

This is not a substitute for respect. That’s not “super caring and nurturing”.

3

Jayybirdd22 t1_jea4r1y wrote

He’s not respecting you now. Why do you think he’ll start respecting you just because you had his kids?

6

Jane_Says_So t1_jea4som wrote

He’s showing you who he is. Believe him. If he doesn’t respect your boundaries, why do you think he’d respect the children’s? He can’t be a good father and be disrespectful to their mother. It just doesn’t work. This is not a person I’d ever have kids with.

5

JaayJaay1970 t1_jeaf9fb wrote

You are still in high school. What are you doing dating someone your parents’s age? There are plenty of women who can give him a child before 40. Stop this madness and use protection.

1