blazingdonut2769 t1_jeeq8nw wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:05 PM

Nah this guy sucks.

First of all - premature ejaculation can be annoying but it isn’t too hard to work around. You can always wait like 10 min and have sex again! Or ask him to jerk off a bit before sex.

But the biggest issue here isn’t that - it’s the way he reacted when he brought up legitimate issues. There’s nothing he can do about oral sex? That’s bullshit! Tell him exactly what feels good and ask him to do it. If you don’t know, google it! Plenty of websites with advice. If he can’t do that he’s selfish plain and simple.

And the solutions you propose he shoots down because he’s insecure. This is not someone you want to date! He is ignoring your needs and desires and he is very selfish! He cares more abt his fragile ego than making sure sex is good for you.

You can’t be in a sexual relationship and have a complex about sex that includes being unable to ever talk about sex. That is insane.

If he doesn’t change its time to move on. Your fears are so valid! You should get out there and explore! You shouldn’t necessarily marry the first person you have sex with!

Gosc101 t1_jeestt2 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:22 PM

This the advice you should listen to OP. He isn't as good partner as you think, if he is fine compromising your happiness for his ego.

Levina21 t1_jeeul0o wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:34 PM

Thank you for your advice. I am sorry for being unclear about one thing : what he meant by that he cannot do anything about it was rather about his PE problem than his oral sex skills.

He tries to accomodate my wishes and needs regarding oral sex and other kinds of foreplay but I simply do not find it that great. The only option we have(I think) is for me to let him practice it on me (which is what I've done for the past 5 years, and yes,I gave him feedbacks during and after the act), but having to endure bad oral sex until he gets better is..well..

At least he is trying in some parts and I appreciate it, but it is just objectively not enough. I thought it would be cruel of me to blame/leave him for something he did put effort in but ended up being bad anyway