plush_paradox t1_iuj5ec0 wrote on October 31, 2022 at 6:49 PM

Reply to comment by International-Aside in Asked my husband for his phone password….. by [deleted]

I could go to a woman’s shelter. my parents left my sibling and I when we were young so i don’t have a great support system. He does though, and knows he’s mine, he takes full advantage.

International-Aside t1_iuj8215 wrote on October 31, 2022 at 7:07 PM

Dont say anything to him yet. Get away from him for a bit if you can. Contact the shelter, tell them the situation as well as background history, ask for help with a safety plan for you and your kids to leave. They will help coordinate the safest option possible for you/your kids. Erase any web searches for the shelter, call log, etc but dont clear everything, just the stuff relevant to you getting help so that he doesnt become suspicious if he checks your phone.

If he knows about your reddit acct, delete everything from your post and comment history. I suggest creating an alt that has no identifiable info and log out each time you use it. Abusers often become the most dangerous when they feel their control over their victims starting to slip. Please be careful!

plush_paradox t1_iuj910o wrote on October 31, 2022 at 7:14 PM

Im not going to say anything, Im going to try to talk to him as little as possible. Thank you a lot for giving that information, I’m gonna sit down and write a plan down now. That’s another thing i won’t miss…. I won’t miss being made to feel useless because im a stay at home mom who doesn’t bring in any income. He likes to make those remarks too, “You live for free with me.” he says. lol

International-Aside t1_iujgrk5 wrote on October 31, 2022 at 8:06 PM

Just dont leave anything where he may find it. If you need to write it down to organize your thoughts, I suggest destroying it immediately or using code to make it look like a grocery list or something.

You're not worthless. You dont live with him for free. You're raising his children and im sure doing all the housework. Unpaid labor is still labor and he's a POS for not acknowledging that.