So my girlfriend will go to therapist for the first time tomorrow and I don't know if I should go with her. I won't be going inside, just waiting outside. I think it's a big step for her mental health and I want to support her.

Yesterday I asked her if she wants me to be there, she was hesitant to answer and said lets discuss it later. She also said we have work tomorrow and I should sleep, because her appointment is very early in the morning and work starts later. I don't understand if It was her telling me not to go (I suck at reading subtext).

So I really don't know if I should push for it and ask again or wait for her to start the conversation, or just do nothing and meet her at work and ask how everything went (we don't live together). Am I pushing boundaries asking for something like that? She's been open to me about her struggles, so I really don't know (we have been together for almost a year now). I just want to support her when she comes out there and I'm worried for her being alone at that moment. But at the same time, I don't want to be pushy like I'm trying to insist on being there if it's something she is not comfortable with. I don't know how to ask again, cuz I feel like I sound like an asshole who doesn't take her right for privacy seriously.

So should I ask again? And how? Or should it to be coming from her?

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

AutoModerator t1_iui7lcf wrote on October 31, 2022 at 3:04 PM

#385,922

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

samzimms t1_iui7vfr wrote on October 31, 2022 at 3:06 PM

#386,010

Say something like, "If you want me to be there, let me know and I will be there. If not, I'll see you when we both get to work. Either way you have my full support."

Lux_Brumalis t1_iui7xtn wrote on October 31, 2022 at 3:06 PM

#386,033

She knows you’re willing and available to go with her - I feel like bringing it up again might come off as pushy. If you really feel like you should though, bring it up one last time: “Hey, I just wanted to make sure you knew that I want you to be comfortable tomorrow. How can I best support you?” And then accept that whatever her answer is, it is the truth

aquasun21 t1_iui8173 wrote on October 31, 2022 at 3:07 PM

#386,061

Say, "I want to support you in the best way possible, whatever that is. So I will be there in a heart beat if you want, and if not, I'll pick you up when you're done. I love you & I'm proud of you"

Guilty_Hunter9304 t1_iui8vib wrote on October 31, 2022 at 3:13 PM

#386,311

If she knows the offer to go with her is there, she'll take you up on it if she needs.

Your approach was right, let her know you'll go with her but you'll wait outside for her.

Dembos09 t1_iuihetb wrote on October 31, 2022 at 4:10 PM

#388,897

Make her dinner. She doesn’t seem to be sure to want you to be there. Be nice and don’t interact directly with the therapy and for me making her a nice diner would be a good way to show it.