Submitted by winterr1299 t3_yiogid in relationship_advice

After 4 years of toxicity including verbal, emotion and physical abuse I decided to make mistakes. We just moved to a new state last year and our fights were getting worst. Physically fights were arising.

I messed with my ex and few months later, i messed with my friend. I didn’t tell him until a year later which was now last November. The only reason I told him that very day is because I found him flirting and engaging with his family friend whom he had been saying for a while was his “cousin”. The girl never engaged back sexually, only laughed or dry answered him bc she knew we were together.

We came down to having 2 threesomes and he would start off the sessions for a few minutes. Our arguments have only gotten worst since we both found out the news. The other day we argued and he’s been saying for almost 2 weeks he doesn’t want the 3some anymore, he wants to mess with 2 girls alone now and if not, we can break up. If we change, I would love to stay together.

I need some guidance - just my daughter and I in this new state.

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oiler1996 t1_iujnmka wrote

So you cheated, hes abusive, he wants to mess around with other women to make it even. Both of you suck for different reasons but you shouldnt be together, neither of you understand how to actually be in a commited relationship. Break up

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LAndoftheLAke t1_iujpizl wrote

Actually, they sound perfect for each other. They should stay together so others don't have to deal with their bullshit.

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oiler1996 t1_iujpvhi wrote

See normally i would agree but because they have a daughter i wouldnt wish the young one to be raised with both of them in the same house. The daughter deserves to grow up in a loving household not one like she is in now

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yowen2000 t1_iujn48c wrote

> toxicity including verbal, emotion and physical abuse

Just get out. Please, please just find a way to get out of this relationship safely.

> If we change, I would love to stay together.

You've dealt with this for 4 years, he is not going to change.

I'm so sorry you've been going through this. This is not normal, this should not be tolerated. Get away from your abuser, that's what he is, he is nto a boyfriend. He is an abuser.

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