Ok, so this is a throwaway acc because I'm so embarrassed but oh well. I (19F) met up with a guy (20M) I was speaking to for a little while yesterday night. I do find him attractive and was interested at the start, but in the text messages, he was VERY forward, like dick pics, and freaky messages...u get the gist. I'm also a virgin, the most I've done with guys is kiss, I told him that and he said that was fine. Obviously, I entertained the convo as much as I could at the time after I realised he probably wasn't looking for anything serious and I was ok with that. He was always asking to hang out but it was ALWAYS night time, I kept asking him why we couldn't meet during the day, and he claimed he was always busy. I did want to see him and we have been talking for almost a month now so I was quite determined and yesterday I agreed to meet him at night. He drives, so he drove to me and we hung out in his car.

I could tell he wasn't much of a talker through his messages, but I thought he would be different IRL and most guys are, but even in real life I wasn't feeling the vibes tbh. I'm quite a social person so I was filling in the silence by talking and asking questions, a normal convo to get to know him but he was really giving the bare minimum so after a while I just gave up because it felt like talking to a wall. We did some balloons in his car to "lift the mood" I guess, honestly I don't know why I agreed to it because I like meeting up with guys the first time sober, but it felt like I had something to prove to this guy, so I complied. He was a bit chatty during it and we started kissing but it got sexual very fast, and granted this is the first time meeting so I was taken aback by how forward he was. He literally confidently whipped out his dick at one point so yeah. I was a little high on the balloons which gave me a little confidence so I decided to give my first-ever handjob lol, it was EXTREMELY awkward, I told him once again I'd never done it, and he didn't guide me whatsoever, but he did say he was about to finish which was confusing because I personally thought I did a terrible job lmao. He didn't make me feel unsafe but he was just very socially awkward which made me mirror that I suppose because then I was acting very strange too.

Anyways, after all this, it was time for me to go. He did offer to hang out again, this time DURING THE DAY (finally, inside I was very happy about it) to go out to eat, so I thought this was a green flag, as in maybe he was feeling me back. When I left his car, he texted me to get home safe, the bare minimum but I was very happy about that and found it cute, but then fast forward to the next day, he left me on delivery for like 20 hours. So now I'm confused as to how he feels about me, I've been overthinking all day, does he not like me? Will we still hang out on Thursday to eat? I feel soooo mortified, I feel like everything happened so fast, he didn't make me feel settled like it was very uneasy, and I wasn't in the mood for sex or turned on one bit because he was so fowrad about it and the balloons made me feel disoriented too which wasn't great but I feel terrible. I'm quite a pretty girl not to be cocky and when I tell people I'm a virgin, they're very surprised, but it's only because I haven't found the right person and also I'd prefer to be in a committed relationship. I've been putting off hanging out with this guy because I knew I'd hate myself and now... I kinda do. I feel so cheap and stupid and I know I should probably let loose but I can't help it. The main reason for this post was to vent I guess and maybe seek some advice to help overcome what I'm feeling. Sorry for rambling

Comments

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#405,493

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[deleted] t1_iujtk33 wrote on October 31, 2022 at 9:35 PM

#405,897

[deleted]

Healthy_Charity2015 t1_iuk89an wrote on October 31, 2022 at 11:29 PM

#413,406

Treat him like a balloon- let him go. He's trashy. You did nothing wrong.

kamjam16 t1_iuk97p2 wrote on October 31, 2022 at 11:37 PM

#413,993

This is a tough one. I kinda got the feeling he wanted to hang out with you more based on him making plans and the fact that you were probably willing to have sex with him in the future if he put some effort in. He may be trying to play it cool by not texting you too soon. Maybe by Wednesday he will text to set something up.

However, he kinda sounds like a loser too. If you're pretty, I definitely think you can do better than this tool doing "balloons" in his car (I assume those are filled with nitros oxide? In my day, we called them whippets and they were mainly done by homeless people).

There are definitely guys out there who have experience and would want to take you out and show you off and be proud to be hanging with you. My suggestion is to find one of them and make your first time with someone who shows an ounce of respect and charm (this guy has about as much charm as a rock). Even if you want to get it over with and get over that hump (pun intended), there are definitely better options for you.