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Confident_Emergency4 t1_iuj7rad wrote

Reply to comment by triaxisman in brother lashes out upon me expressing my discomfort by [deleted]

I started seeing her upon having a fight with my father. And my obsession with my mother where I was constantly furious with her. We mainly do talk therapy and theraphy helped me learn about emotions and got me addicted to meditating. But sometimes I question her too.

All throughout my education I always found manipulative friends wherever I went. It's like I'm a trouble magnet

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triaxisman t1_iuj8yjj wrote

It’s good you’ve been learning about emotions but considering what you’ve shared and how you’ve been treated you probably would benefit from learning how to set boundaries, how to resolve conflict in healthy ways, how to recognize and avoid abusive or untrustworthy people, how to trust in a healthy way, and how to make sure you’re trustworthy as well as it doesn’t sound like your family has been great at teaching you those things.

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Confident_Emergency4 t1_iuj9dnv wrote

Actually I have been feeling lacking in those areas too and will demand my therapist that we work on strengthening these areas. Thank you soooo much for calling me out<33333333 and I have been reading on defensiveness for the past 20 minutes

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triaxisman t1_iuj9u3w wrote

Read up on gaslighting and it’s impact too. It’s an especially toxic form of defensiveness that can really mess you up long term. And it sounds like your brother does that to you.

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Confident_Emergency4 t1_iujdcqv wrote

Heard about gaslighting and it made me think he might be manipulative. Btw my therapist asked me if there could be a reason why this incident made me so agitated and hinted at me being lonely and jealous of them. Then guided me to reveal my feelings in front of my brother in my letter. I knew he'd use it against me which is why I'm always masking my vulnerabilities near him. He did use my jealousy to further blame me on the subject and so I'm low key mad at the therapist

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triaxisman t1_iujege5 wrote

Yep, you sharing your vulnerable feelings is a good idea, but not with someone who uses that against you. I mean it might be good to work out why you were bother by him and his gf, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to do that with him since he reacts so poorly.

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