Should I ask her out??

Submitted by Successful_List_8114 t3_yio3ih in relationship_advice

Someone please help me. I (22F) met a girl (22F) through a mutual friend, found out she was queer, and have developed a crush on her.

We went out together the other night without our other friends, and leading up to going out she was talking about how excited she is for us to go out together, and asked if she could invite some of her coworkers. So when we went out, we didn’t really get a lot of alone time because of her coworkers being there, but later in the night we sat down at a table together and started discussing our sexuality. She told me she is bi, and asked me if I’m seeing anyone and I told her no.

Right after that a random man sat down beside me and started flirting with me. She grabbed my thigh and started squeezing it so I put my hand on top of hers and kind of started holding her hand. We sat like that for a few minutes then we got up to go to the bathroom and she pulled me to the side and was like “was that man bothering you?” which kind of bummed me out because she made it seem like she was only touching my leg to prevent him from doing anything.

Since that night I have been on hinge and I came across her profile, so I sent her a like. She texted me today with a picture of my profile and said “I’m dead” but she also swiped right on me so??

I am currently debating messaging her on hinge and being like “so are we going to go plant shopping?” because in her profile one of her prompts is “the best way to ask me out is to ask me to go plant shopping”. The issue is that we have mutual friends, and I really can’t tell if she’s actually into me or just feels comfortable around me because we’re both queer, and I just don’t know what to do or what any of this means because I’ve never been with a girl. Please help me reddit!!!

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lifestyleboss t1_iujlbqz wrote

I say go for it. You don’t have much to lose here since y’all barley know each other. There are some interest between the both of you, but it could be friendly as well. You won’t know until you ask her and then see where it goes. You might have to step up your game even more and see if she wants to talk more than just friends. Go for it, nothing to lose here.

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Constant_External_30 t1_iujxg1i wrote

The opportunity has already presented itself. The chemistry seems to go well between you both, but I would continue to build that foundation of the relationship and friendship. Continue to dive deeper. See where the compatability lies and then keep developing that bond. When that bond feels strong and tight-knit, ask her out.

You want to avoid only going out with her because of the physical sense, when and if things fall by the waste side because there was no strong bond. And that's coming from experience. So keep making yourself known, keep going out on dates and hanging out. Keep her close, but be careful about moving too fast and falling too hard. Take it slow, but not always too slow or too fast.

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Successful_List_8114 OP t1_iujzgtd wrote

Do you think it would be a bad idea to send her a message about going plant shopping like I mentioned in my OP? I felt like I could play it off as platonic which is why I thought that would be a good option.

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Constant_External_30 t1_iuk36qh wrote

Nope! Nor at all! By all means, always offer to make her included on things and activities you want to do. Plant shopping would be great! Something good and casual.

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