My Bf thinks it’s okay not to tell me his plan’s because “we don’t live together”

Submitted by InspectionAntique764 t3_yiqx0z in relationship_advice

My bf and I had a talk yesterday and we were talking about what we have going off in future weekends and he made it very clear that he doesn’t feel the need to tell me if he’s going out or where. I’m not one to check on him 24/7 but just a heads up would be nice. He said that’s the end out it or hell out the phone down and go awol and if he does that I’ll never see him again. This is all new I have no idea what’s going on. Any advice I’m just abit shocked at the minute and don’t know what to say.

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ExpressingThoughts t1_iuk1de6 wrote

> He said that’s the end out it or hell out the phone down and go awol and if he does that I’ll never see him again.

That's not normal at all to threaten to break up and never see him again. I'd consider that a red flag and leave.

As for checking in, even when we weren't living together, my partners and I would check in plenty of times just because we were excited to tell each other what we were doing and to make plans.

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Paranoia_Pizza t1_iuk3fga wrote

Replying to InspectionAntique764 (#410,450)

Yea it's really bizarre.

Maybe you could try talking to him about it again from a "are you OK?" Approach.

It's not normal to not know what you're partners doing at weekends.. how can you plan things with them if you don't know.

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MuddaFrmAnnudaBrudda t1_iuk5khj wrote

Been married 22 years. Before we married we lived apart and I didn't know where he was going in his spare time and vice-versa. I didn't need to unless we were meeting. Why would I?

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ExpressingThoughts t1_iuk6yvw wrote

Replying to InspectionAntique764 (#410,297)

I mean you're looking for clues when something isn't right when his actions are showing outright he's abusive.

It is emotional abuse to threaten to fall off the face of the earth in order to end a discussion. Is this how all conflicts will go- if he wants to end the discussion, he threatens to disappear on you?

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[deleted] t1_iukc07w wrote

Time to find someone else. If two people like each other they check in with each other because they like being together.

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