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Antibloodpotatoe t1_iuii6sy wrote

I've been the kid in this situation.

I can't tell you what's best because I don't know any of you or the details of your situation, and these things affect everyone differently, but my advice is to make him leave.

They love him because he's their dad, kids almost always love their parents simply because they're the parents, at least until they are able to fully realize how poorly their parent treated them. I suspect it will be much the same for your kids.

Based on what you wrote, he doesn't treat them right. He may love them in his own way, as you said, but that doesn't matter in the long run. What matters is how his actions affect those around him, regardless of his own feelings. Keeping him around those kids is going to chip away at their self esteem and could lead to many other issues, like self esteem issues.

I'm sorry for your situation, there really isn't a perfect solution. You just have to pick the best option, and I sincerely hope you choose the kids well being. Not just for their sakes, but yours as well.

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MotherofCalatheas t1_iuij0uc wrote

Thank you so much for writing, I really needed to hear that. I will 100% choose the best option for my children and your words solidify what I have been thinking.

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Flyinggrounded t1_iuihpn1 wrote

Addiction issues won't fix themselves and homelessness won't give your children an environment you want them in. Cut him loose. Either demand he get his shit together or fuck off. He won't fix himself until someone hold his feet to the fire and he fixes his own issues.

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McSuzy t1_iuifwpm wrote

I'm curious about fiance written in quote. Do you have a wedding date?

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MotherofCalatheas t1_iuig9oh wrote

We're not together anymore, I should have written Ex-fiancée. We Cohabitate and co-parent together.

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McSuzy t1_iuihx5i wrote

Was there a wedding date? Is it in the past or in the future?

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MotherofCalatheas t1_iuiji5p wrote

No wedding date, just a promise that will not be fulfilled.

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McSuzy t1_iuijyyv wrote

Gotcha - it sounds like a good thing that you did not marry but I hope that, in the future, you will be very leery of any man who wants to call you his fiance without a ring and a specific wedding date.

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