Sufficient_Throat_37 OP t1_iuilj0q wrote on October 31, 2022 at 4:38 PM

Reply to comment by tickleyourfanny in He called her sexy, Is my dumb overthinking justified? by Sufficient_Throat_37

It's not a costume, literally just a pumpkin printed shirt and some jeans, the thing is I've never heard anyone else apart from me call her that so I'm questioning if it's even alright to call someone's gf "sexy ass pumpkin" and you are right, only I can find out, I won't ask her tho because I will just be called insecure and I actually trust her but you know how we guys overthink even the lil things

DonerDonDada t1_iuinure wrote on October 31, 2022 at 4:53 PM

I mean what do you mean "is it alright?" Like was he out of pocket or flirting with her? Probably. Is she in control of what this guy thinks or says? Not really.

Like are you asking if you get to be mad at her, or mad at him, or what? I don't think you can conclude that there's anything going on between the two of them just for that but I would be side eyeing the guy pretty hard. I know I wouldn't say that to a woman I knew had a partner myself. But whether that has anything to do with her is another question entirely

Sufficient_Throat_37 OP t1_iuioqut wrote on October 31, 2022 at 4:59 PM

I know I can't say there's anything between them but like you said calling someone's gf that is a bit too much and the fact that she likes it is also sketchy to me...she can't control what others say but she can control her reaction and who she hangs out with, she had good male friends they respectful and honest but this one is just not a friend

No_Copy_5473 t1_iuip98g wrote on October 31, 2022 at 5:02 PM

yeah her reaction and encouragement of it is what would bother me

DonerDonDada t1_iuiqb8i wrote on October 31, 2022 at 5:10 PM

Okay so the thing that's bothering you is that she accepted the compliment and it didn't make her uncomfortable? Or do you think she's cheating? I think if it's the first thing that's fair, did you say that to her? In the moment what could she have done differently, and what could she do now to make you feel better about it? Is there actually anything specific you think would help or do you not think you can get past this?

I'm not trying to tell you you're wrong btw it just doesn't sound to me like you've really thought through what you actually want here. I don't think it's unreasonable for it to bother you that she seemed into it, I'm just not sure what that gets you besides feeling like you're right here and she's wrong. You need to figure out why exactly this bothered you and what you want from her now that it's happened for you to feel like the issue is resolved, and then bring that to her and see what she says. If she's like "oh my bad, I can see why that upset you here's how I'll do it differently next time" and that's good enough for you you have no more problems, but if she's unwilling to do anything differently and this really bothers you, you have your answer. Good luck my guy

Sufficient_Throat_37 OP t1_iuiruk1 wrote on October 31, 2022 at 5:20 PM

You are so kind, what I want her to do is be careful with who she hangout with and don't take their flirting as some sort of validation and be happy with it, it gives them the wrong idea but I know she won't because we already talked about it before so I'm feeling like she is playing around and that is upsetting...if she is okay with it I will also start calling my girl friends sexy ass lol