Submitted by Equivalent-Ad-2576 t3_yisc6e in relationship_advice

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. This morning I woke up to him laying in his stomach with his phone in his hand and it felt like he was jerking off. When he noticed i woke up he quickly put his phone down and pretended like he was sleeping. I asked him what he was doing and he kept acting like he didn’t know what I was talking about. I left it alone and closed my eyes again. He then turned his head the other way and the same movements started again. It looked like he was almost humping the bed. I decided to slowly slide my hand under him to see where his hand was and it was where I thought it was and he obviously was aroused. I asked him again what he was doing and he immediately got defensive and I said it looked like you were basically humping the bed. He replied with telling me to shut the fuck up and I was so annoying. I stopped bothering him and got on my phone. At this point his back was turned to me and he kept looking back to see if I was up Im assuming. He theme procced to take his blanket, and ran into the bathroom and lock it. I automatically thought this was so weird. I decided to go peak under the door and he was on the ground with his phone in his hand. He wasn’t like laying down his head down or anything. I then knocked on the door. He took a little bit too long to unlock it. He unlocked it but didn’t open it. I opened the door to him sitting on the toilet like he was pretending that he was there the whole time. I once again asked him what he was doing, he continued to say what are you talking about. I told him I saw him sitting on the ground and then somehow he’s on the toilet? He said it was because he thought me knocking meant I wanted to use the bathroom and he wanted to use it before me. Ok that’s cool but why were you on the ground? He said he was laying down, which wasn’t true. I nodded and walked out, before my body was completely out of the door way he shut the door behind me basically pushing me out of the room. I was frustrated and started grabbing all my clothes that I had, in his apartment, and putting them in my bag so I could go home. Walking out of the bathroom, he continued to raise his voice saying that he wasn’t doing anything and it so like a women to accuse men of doing stuff they aren’t. He then blamed me for him missing his class, which made absolutely no sense considering when he saw me packing he said that he wouldn’t drive me back to my dorm because he was going back to bed. I walked home, and on my walk home i noticed he blocked my phone number and my snapchat.

Now here’s some background info. A few months ago I caught in his phone history that he was watching porn. I got upset because I always have sex with him, I always send him pictures and videos and what not. The biggest thing that upset me was that he was specifically searching up “blonde girls”. I am a brunette lmfao. He always made jokes about leaving me for a blonde girl so that really stung. I ALSO, always asked him if he watched porn and he consistently said no he stopped when we started dating. So he lied to me. He apologized and said that he wouldn’t do it again. I realize that masturbation and watching porn is normal for people. I just don’t like the lying. I have specific boundaries and things that bother me in a relationship and I can’t get over the whole watching porn thing. I think it’s completely disrespectful to any women.

The reason I made this post was to ask, what do you guys think he was doing? and if he was watching porn and jerking off how should I go about this?

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doubleDdaddy t1_iukbj8x wrote

Very defensive reaction on your boyfriends part for him to be doing “nothing” lol

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Equivalent-Ad-2576 OP t1_iukc131 wrote

See that’s what I thought, He blocked me on everything so I have no way to talk to him other than walking over to his apartment.

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luvduvbunny t1_iuk975u wrote

So is porn your dealbreaker?

Why can’t your BF find blondes attractive?

It seems like you’re going to dump your BF because he was watching porn with blonde women

I get the lying aspect, but it seems like you’re starting fights because you’re insecure about your hair color

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Equivalent-Ad-2576 OP t1_iuk9nbe wrote

Porn isn’t good for anyone, just creates a lot of problems within a relationship.

I am not insecure of my hair color what so ever, it’s hair. My point is him joking about leaving me for a blonde girl then jerking off to blonde girls? Yea it’s gonna cause insecurity in the sense of not feeling like he finds me attractive.

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luvduvbunny t1_iukajay wrote

Plenty of relationships do fine when it comes to porn. Relieves stress, try new things, etc.

Masturbating to blonde women doesn’t mean he doesn’t find you attractive. We all have body types and different characteristics that turn us on the most.

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