What do I do

Submitted by Optimal-Magazine61 t3_yikewt in relationship_advice

Update: he’s moving out and I’m talking to him tomorrow just to go through things that are his and what’s mine

I broke up with my bf of 5 years a few days ago because I’m unhappy with being in a relationship anymore. I’m tired of putting everyone else’s needs above my own and if I can’t even be happy with myself, what’s the point of trying to make everyone else happy. I’m mentally unwell and I cannot handle a relationship anymore.

He wants to talk but I want nothing to do with him. I’ve tried breaking up before but he basically said no and made it my problem.

What do I say to him to make him understand I’m done? He doesn’t want me to throw away all of the time we’ve had together but I resent being in a relationship with him so much now. I just want to be alone. I don’t know how to get this across to him.

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FatTony394 t1_iuj65ye wrote

This isn't a negotiation. All you have to do is tell him that it is over. He can't overrule your decision. It's over when you say it is.

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Optimal-Magazine61 OP t1_iuj6f57 wrote

I’ve tried that last time and I’m worried he’s not gonna take that as an answer. I have troubles being selfish and doing stuff for myself ( I’m currently in therapy partly for this) he also is currently living in my house and he needs a place to go since his old place is 2 hours away. I’m currently staying with a friend and he decided to show up because I blocked his number

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FatTony394 t1_iujbflq wrote

This is an abusive relationship. Tell him that it's over. That is all. If he won't leave, contact law enforcement and have him removed.

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Optimal-Magazine61 OP t1_iujohym wrote

How do I make him understand that?

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FatTony394 t1_iujos1m wrote

He doesn't need to understand anything

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Optimal-Magazine61 OP t1_iujoy76 wrote

Would it be a bad thing if I texted him instead of talking to his face? I’d give in too easily to his face but I want to be fair

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FatTony394 t1_iujp7x4 wrote

Don't give in. Make your decision that it's over and then proceed accordingly. His protestations don't matter.

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SignificanceOdd4992 t1_iuj72p5 wrote

Just block him off everything for now. When you are feeling better and are mentally healthy you can explain to him why you cut him off

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