I (f21) really have been trying hard to want to make a relationship work with my partner (m25) I’m not sure if it’s me or him at this point.

Submitted by cold_cash_devine t3_yhvz5v in relationship_advice

I was introduced to my partner by a friend. He used to always bring me flowers and was the sweetest. Which I expect for a honeymoon phase. He started being rude and telling me to sell my dream project car it was never going to run i was a failure and I loved my Porsche I proved him wrong and he still hates on my car all the time.

He constantly shuts down my hopes and dreams and tells me they will not happen or can’t happen and expects me to be there for him and his dreams.

I make a lot less money than he does he wants to save for a house it’s nearly impossible for my budget right now I told him hold off it’s not in my budget but he’s so blind and insistent on me fitting something into my budget that just won’t.

He hasn’t taken me out on an actual date since we’ve first met. And our date nights consist of McDonald’s. Other cheaper food options or eating at home.

He’s crossed sexual boundaries and hurt me so many times I’ve lost count. I finally got upset and told his mother.

He on the regular insults me and calls me crude names and says it’s because he loves me and I shouldn’t be offended. I should take it as a compliment or a joke.

And last week he told me in the car he wanted to see his ex and hug her after they’ve been broken up for years. I finally got on him spoke my mind and told him if he did we’re done. But I was the bad guy for this.

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luvduvbunny t1_iufyees wrote

Did you read what you wrote?

This guy started out nice to impress you. But it’s clear that he’s verbally abusive and has crossed sexual boundaries.

You’re standing up for yourself, and he’s making you out to be the bad guy. That’s what abusers do to their victims. You literally did nothing wrong

Get out

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catmom81519 t1_iug5bq9 wrote

The other comments have said it best. Leave this guy and let him go hug his ex

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bittz128 t1_iugkdpj wrote

Anyone who tells you how you SHOULD feel about comments THEY make obviously doesn’t care about how you do feel. Set your bar higher.

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HonDadCBR600 t1_iug0lv8 wrote

Leave…now. Don’t look back. Nobody deserves to be treated this way and his treatment of his “girlfriend” is not even on par with how you’d treat a casual friend. Oh, and if he actually voicing that he wants to “hug” his ex..then he is either already “hugging” her or worse. This guy sounds like a real winner and the fact that he crushes your dreams and spirit on top of everything else..well…I think you already know. I wish you the best of luck in finding someone who deserves you.

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cold_cash_devine OP t1_iug8d9i wrote

I don’t even love him anymore. I don’t even know why I’m with him. After I scolded him for the ex thing he hasn’t even been saying goodnight and Goodmorning and texting me the same or calling. His mother said I was jealous and should apologize. But obviously 🙄 I’m not. I just don’t feel anything for him anymore.

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HonDadCBR600 t1_iuggz92 wrote

Mommy is always gonna take her little boy’s side over yours. Plain and simple. Apologizing (if YOU’VE done nothing wrong)only serves to justify his actions and to make you feel like you’re the reason he acts this way. Then the “If only I could ..insert action here…then he would change” thoughts start to come and it’s downhill from there. Life is short and, while you may be young now, you shouldn’t waste anymore of it in this toxic and harmful situation. Just my opinion, of course, but, from having experienced this type of relationship before, unless he decides to change and get help for his issues it’s unlikely things will change for the better. They can always get worse though.

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Moodybeachphoto t1_iug8uwt wrote

I’m sorry, you should be treated much better.

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