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charonthemoon t1_iuiroza wrote

It's probably not about you at all - if they don't want you there, they wouldn't invite you!

Bella is probably going through something completely unrelated to you. I can think of a whole bunch of potential examples of why someone might be more reserved and pull away from social interactions. It's literally only been two months! I think it's normal to worry that she might be upset with you, but it's pretty self-centered to assume that she hates you to the point of not wanting you at her wedding - and overbearing/invasive to prod at her about it.

I think you should RSVP yes, then wait a few more weeks or months before bringing it up again. Then, text Bella once saying that you miss hanging out with her, that if you did/said anything to upset her then please let you know - but you're sure she's probably crazy busy with wedding planning, you hope she's doing well, and you're looking forward to the wedding. Then just leave things be.

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larlyssa t1_iuk1oco wrote

I didn’t actually prod at her about it - I just asked how her job was, then 2wks later sent a pic of a gift she gave me in my new apartment when I unpacked it, then a month later asked how one of her hobbies is going. Not sure if that was clear in the post. I never asked why she was MIA.

I really appreciate this advice though, gives me peace of mind.

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charonthemoon t1_iuk3l3j wrote

Sorry, didn't mean to imply you had prodded her (I thought your post was clear enough that you'd only asked Andrew once and texted her a few unrelated things) - just a suggestion not to start prodding lol

It's easy to get worried about it being personal when friends pull away, but everyone has so much going on in their own lives! I think the best we can do is remain open and friendly and give them space to come back if/when they can and they want to. In my experience adult friendships can wax/wane in strange ways, and that's normal. I'm glad you're feeling better about things :)

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