It's probably not about you at all - if they don't want you there, they wouldn't invite you!

Bella is probably going through something completely unrelated to you. I can think of a whole bunch of potential examples of why someone might be more reserved and pull away from social interactions. It's literally only been two months! I think it's normal to worry that she might be upset with you, but it's pretty self-centered to assume that she hates you to the point of not wanting you at her wedding - and overbearing/invasive to prod at her about it.

I think you should RSVP yes, then wait a few more weeks or months before bringing it up again. Then, text Bella once saying that you miss hanging out with her, that if you did/said anything to upset her then please let you know - but you're sure she's probably crazy busy with wedding planning, you hope she's doing well, and you're looking forward to the wedding. Then just leave things be.

I know you have already said you are going to the wedding, but here is my advice for you as one older woman to a younger:

Assume that if you were invited somewhere, you are wanted there. I know it is easy to worry 'but am I really wanted, is this a pity invite or just a formal thing?' Etc.

But those happen very rarely. More often than not, if someone doesn't want you at a thing, they won't invite you. They'll find some excuse if it is expected.

And if it was a pity invite? Go and assume you are wanted. If it is the rare pity invite, going and assuming you are wanted and acting like it will generally have a better net outcome in your life than not going or going and worrying the whole time about whether you are or aren't wanted there.

It may have nothing to do with you, she may be doing it to everyone. She may be having wedding stress, or relationship stress as the wedding approaches. I'd check in with some other friends and see if they're having communication issues with her also.

I'd plan to be at the wedding.

This could be anything from depression to a miscarriage. If her husband is still in contact w you but ignoring comments about her, she probably just isn’t doing well right now and he’s shielding her. Go to the wedding, keep in contact with him.

It's only been two months? That is barely any time of low contact for an adult friendship (which definitely go in cycles). She is probably exhausted planning the wedding. If she has a problem with you it's ON HER to communicate that, not you to divine that from signs that you admittedly assign too much value too. It is not your job to guess other people's feelings.

Just get out of your own head and go if you actually value the friendship. You'll do more damage by preemptively trying to "end" the friendship on Bella's behalf.

> I’m struggling with whether they even want me there at this point, and whether I should take the hint and respectfully decline

If they really didn't want you there then they would not have invited you.

There's a million reasons your friend could be less sociable, if she really didn't like you she would probably just block and ghost you. Don't overthink it.

I agree with the other posters, I have a feeling she's very stressed in general (wedding planning suuuuucks), and you should proceed assuming it's not about you.

Once the chaos subsides, if you still have issues? Then maybe reach out and ask if she's ok/are you guys ok. But don't sweat the wedding.

This is some HS bullshit.

Not everything is about you. Maybe she's just fucking busy, maybe the run up to the wedding is stressful, maybe she has work issues, maybe she has health issues, maybe she's just tired... you have no idea because none of it is your fucking business... Be a good friend and be empathetic of your friends who seem to be a bit more withdrawn for a time; and then eventually I'm sure she'll come around and things will change for her. But, if you seriously can't find an empathetic bone in your body then just skip the wedding and save this poor woman from your drama filled head.

If you got a invite, you are wanted; there was a list made of who to invite and you made it. Plenty of others didn't (or are on the 2nd or 3rd level list).

Just go, don't overthink it.

Well, there's one sure way to find out. Call Bella and talk with her. Tell her up front that you're confused and hurt by the ways she's been interacting with you, and that you really want to know what has caused her to act in this manner.

Your decision on whether or not to attend their wedding should be based on what Bella reveals. If she's forthcoming, great; perhaps you can deal with any issues she has with you. If her communication is cold, or distant, then you will know that your response to the RSVP will be 'non'.

You're overthinking it. Go to the wedding, have fun. She could be stressed out or sick. Don't worry about it, just be a good friend to them both. You sound a little self-involved. Wedding planning is stressful, she could just be overwhelmed. Who knows. Not your problem.

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I’d send regrets and just send a gift. I’d say up to $250 if you think they are good people overall. But not until right after the ceremony.

It could be the gal/them are going thru something.

I’m sorry I am unable to attend and celebrate your nuptials. I hope you have a lovely day and a fantastic marriage. Good luck!

If pressed, just say you have financial issues but Wish them well.