MsBuzzkillington83 t1_iujemcu wrote on October 31, 2022 at 7:51 PM

Reply to comment by Capricondor in My wife (F 30) started talking with a therapist and wasn't ready to tell me (M 29). She lied about what she was doing and I dug in. Now she's mad that I didn't trust her but I'm mad she lied to me. by [deleted]

A defensive reaction is always suspicious

Can u speak to her in a way like "okay I believe u aren't cheating but I do believe there's something wrong because people that don't have something to hide don't get defensive about nothing, if it's embarrassing, it's okay, I'm just curious because it seems like a pretty big deal"

Don't feel bad, u did nothing wrong

Is there something that she might be discussing that she'd be self conscious about?

Like, I don't really think she's totally cheating either but she's definitely hiding something

Ask reddit for chat website interfaces to see if u find anything that looks familiar maybe, if she won't tell u more

Like she doesn't have to give a ton of detail but she should be able to provide an answer that makes sense

sxfrklarret t1_iujo6df wrote on October 31, 2022 at 8:56 PM

Yes, he did do something wrong. He didn't trust his wife, that is wrong. The tool she was using could be the portal the therapists use to communicate. But hey way to go straight to the cheating zone, stupid.

MsBuzzkillington83 t1_iujqw2c wrote on October 31, 2022 at 9:15 PM

Well I see u didn't read the comments I made after, I said she's hiding something, I was thinking seeing the therapist about her leaving him

Unless he was accusing her, he did nothing wrong

As far as I gathered, he asked her twice, both of the times she acted suspicious.

OP explained her personality and after that u suspect she just thinks therapy is a weakness or embarrassment

sxfrklarret t1_iujs8qb wrote on October 31, 2022 at 9:25 PM

If he is this mistrusting in his wife he needs to leave her. But not because of her but him. He is one the reddit man babies who makes it all about him and his insecurities. Being defensive is NOT suspicious it is being defensive for a reason. He has a poor relationship due to his insecurities so he needs to pack and go if he does not trust her.