feistyfeister t1_iuje5ws wrote
I highly doubt it has anything to do with being "good enough". Maybe the ex forced her to do it, maybe he was smaller and it was easier? TBH my partner is well endowed and I hate doing it because I have a strong gag reflex and I literally feel like its going to make me throw up and then turns me off from the rest of the experience. It only takes 1 traumatic experience to turn someone off of a sexual activity for a long time if not forever.
The condom thing also just might make her more comfortable. Birth control fails and maybe it just makes her feel safer.
AntiLiquidZero OP t1_iujir1q wrote
She's told me something similar. I appreciate your response.
And well, I didn't mention that I'm above average in the size department. I know girth can scare certain people, I just thought that doing it every once in awhile to change things up wouldn't be an issue.
And with birth control, I told her I'd even buy plan B just to make sure she felt safe. I just feel weird because someone else who lied to her was able too and I've already said I'd take responsibility for whatever happens. Makes me feel like she doesn't trust me? But I think I'm over thinking it.
Thank you for your time.
feistyfeister t1_iujl14w wrote
>Created Jun 14, 2009
It's worth a short to revisit the first part later down the line. Or tell her even if she only did it for a minute and then stopped but to not feel like she has to do it the whole time. But the more the subject is forced, the more she may not feel comfortable.
The second part is more complicated. Plan B makes you get your period but even worse which sucks and is also a whole other subject about how it makes some feel. I took it once in high school and my brain went down a rabbit hole of what if I was pregnant and blah blah blah and just made me feel emotionally like shit. It has nothing to do with trust. Worst case scenario - plan B doesn't work (which happens) and then she has to deal with the decision of what to do next which also sucks.
Maybe talk to her about when in the relationship she'd feel comfortable - like after 2 years? after being engaged? married?
AntiLiquidZero OP t1_iujmmyp wrote
I think you're right. I'll stop trying to force it and see if it can occur naturally. I don't want 28 minutes of it, literally just 15 seconds or so just because it's her. It's reassuring.
As for plan B, I can't disagree with anything you said.
And I'll ask. What the requirements are for the next step. I know I'm ready for anything. Just need to see where she is at.
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