Apples and oranges, my friend. Your lady's damage was NOT intellectual, it was primarily Emotional. You are using the wrong approach.

In the case of your SO there was betrayal and significant violation of an understanding and a trust. You don't heal that by emphasizing the physical side of things. She can probably understand readily that you like sex and that you are competent as a lover. Thats not the problem. The problem is what Sex, as an emotional expression and focus of a trusting relationship, means to you.

Her last guy did all the right things too but still betrayed her. You need to approach her on an emotional level to affirm that you are not the last guy and that what you have is validating for you on so many levels. Slowdown all the talk about sex as an act and start emphasizing how expressing your sexual behaviors between the two of you validates the unique nature of what you have.