My fiancé is cheating on me with a teneeager

Submitted by Strange-Ad-102 t3_yifye5 in relationship_advice

My (3F) fiancé (M40) have been together four years and recently got engaged. He has been working out of town for the last few months coming home only a few days a month. We talk on the phone multiple times a day and things seemed to be going good. Last week I got information that he has a girlfriend in the city where he is for work. I then find out that she is only 16 years old and that he had been lying about his age saying that he is 27. I confronted him about this but he just got angry and denied having any involvement. But I have seen the proof and know it’s true. I am trying to appear that I believe him. I need some time to separate our things and I don’t want him coming home early. I just feel completely sick to my stomach that this is happening and I would never be with someone if I knew that they preyed on teenagers. I am scared of what he will do when he comes home and sees that I’m gone.

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PixieOnAcid t1_iuifdsd wrote

You also need to call the police and give them the information you know.

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themanfromUNCLE100 t1_iuifpju wrote

He's either having Sex with a minor or have groomed her before she turned of legal age. Either way it's super predatory. Make sure everyone who knows him knows about it. Don't forget to mention to the girl's parents.

ETA: If he's having sex with a minor you should report it to the police. You don't want a rapist to roam around freely.

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spiteful_rr_dm_TA t1_iujpqy7 wrote

This is in the US. While the states differ, something like 30/50 have an age of consent of 16, so odds are better than not that he is legally fine. Morally he is reprehensible, but legality and morality dont always align...

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CrystalQueen3000 t1_iuig380 wrote

He’s a pedo groomer, once you’re safely away please contact the police with all the information you have. She needs protection from him as well.

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Strange-Ad-102 OP t1_iuigpog wrote

Unfortunately where I live the legal age is 16 which I was surprised to find out. I have been talking with a parent of one of the girls friend and he has gone to police as he was making inappropriate actions towards his daughter as well. I will be contacting them myself as well.

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southcoastal t1_iuijnrj wrote

I’m in the UK and over here the legal age applies to teenagers of the SAME AGE.

It does NOT apply to a 40 year old and a legal MINOR. He is a paedo.

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Strange-Ad-102 OP t1_iuio20h wrote

Unfortunately here the age of consent is 16 which I find shocking and disgusting.

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Cryptographer_Alone t1_iuir8dd wrote

I would double check this. In many American states, there's two ages of consent. One for minors having sex with minors and/or adult teenagers, etc, and 18 for no age restrictions between partners.

At the very least, let the parents know if you can.

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spiteful_rr_dm_TA t1_iujp6k5 wrote

I know in NY, the age of consent is 17. There are also Romeo and Juliet laws that allow for a two year difference, down to 14 I think. So a 14 year old can have sex with up to a 16 year old, and an 18 year old can have sex with a 16 year old.

Most states have these laws. Some states it is 16, some 17, and some 18. See here

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southcoastal t1_iuiy16j wrote

The age of consent in the UK is 16 for both parties to be of similar age. Not for one to be 16 yr old and to be 40 yr old.

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EvilFinch t1_iuk7r7j wrote

Here in Germany it is unfortunately legal if one is 16+ and the other is 18+ except there is a state of dependence (like pupil and teacher). But our laws are to lax anyway in so many things.

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happydays676 t1_iuihwc4 wrote

You’ve got to be kidding me bloody hell. Please tell me you don’t have children with this man. I’m so sorry op it’s better you find out now than later

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Flyinggrounded t1_iuify1b wrote

My 1st question would be What's the legal age of consent in your state? 2ndly is him coming home a safety issue for you. If the answer is yes, you should heavily consider calling law enforcement. I'm not in your situation so you make the judgement call.

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spiteful_rr_dm_TA t1_iujpiaj wrote

For something like 30 states, age of consent is 16. So odds are better than not that what he is doing is legal. Morally, on the other hand, he is horribly out of line on so many fronts.

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ayymahi t1_iujxuvk wrote

A 40 year old having a relationship with a 16 year old… Get yourself situated & plan your exit. He gross

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Strange-Ad-102 OP t1_iuk3cmz wrote

I agree I’m just so disgusted by the whole situation. I am in the process of separating all our stuff. I will also be informing his friends and family they should know what kind of person he is. Especially since many of them teenager daughters

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