My boyfriend (25M) is going distance day by day

Submitted by Bee7049 t3_yist76 in relationship_advice

Me (20F) and my boyfriend (25M) are in long distance relationship, we don't mind about the distance and not seeing each other for awhile. Our relationship were doing really great until one day he didn't even open my text and answer my call for 3 days, I got worried so I kept asking and he replied after 5 days "I'm ok". His drastic change of behavior really shocked me but I try to understand that he's focusing on his final year of uni until one day I got a DM from a girl saying that my bf said that he's single and wants to go to the gym with her sometimes eventho she's 10 hours away from him. I confronted him and he said he told her he's single because he wants our relationship to stay private but I've been posting about us on my social media. But I gave him a second chance. That girl sent me screenshots of their chat and he was really fast respond to her, his words was long and enthusiastic. He even told her the exact day he gonna be graduating, he never told me anything about it.

Months went by and he still doesn't text me or anything but his social media is really active. He said he put his phone on mute and disabled all notifications. I still try to text him by telling him about my day, send memes, ask random questions, etc but he replied after 3 days or even 2 weeks but usually he left me on read. He said is social energy is drained, empty, so I said it's okay, told him to take his time and I'm here for him if he needs me.

I feel like I failed at being a good gf because I dont even know how he's doing and it's like he doesn't trust me much to vent about anything but I trust him so I hope he's doing fine, his birthday is coming and I've prepared some handmade gifts for him, I hope he'll like them.

What do you think I should do? I've told him about how I feel but he said "I'm tired and I want to focus on school and work" and just "sorry". I posted something about birthday and he texted me "I forgot it's your birthday, happy birthday" so I said "it's my niece's birthday." he said "oh I totally forgot". I'm not afraid that he's cheating on me bc I trust him, I'm afraid that he keeps everything on himself and feel alone eventho I'm with him.

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danclndavinci1 t1_iukazsh wrote

Is there a reason you're still with this person? I would guess that your self-esteem is pretty low that you're allowing this farce of relationship to continue. Best advice is to leave and work on yourself

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Bee7049 OP t1_iukbj2a wrote

yes there is, he gave me his last name (not legally). In our culture, a man could give his last name to the girl he wants to marry, it's one step closer to an engagement :)

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IndigoTrailsToo t1_iukb3q0 wrote

Yeah, this relationship is over. This girl swooped out from under him and scooped him up. The person who lives nearby is always going to trump a long distance relationship, especially when it is fading out. The boundaries of your relationship has already been crossed pretty badly into the emotional territory and I think it would be better for your mental health to just call it completely done.

Him saying that he wants to keep the relationship private is not a good thing and in this situation, you know for certain that things are going the way they are going.

Sorry that your evening sucks.

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Bee7049 OP t1_iukbtkj wrote

Thank you for the reply, I'll ask myself what I really want and need to do for this relationship

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