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JimTaggertUsa t1_iujh52c wrote

Stand your ground and enforce your boundaries. You offered a fair compromise

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Morpheus_MD t1_iujslem wrote

Dude the moving in or not is the least of your worries here.

She has no regard at all for your boundaries and desire to not live on a ranch.

Yet her ex husband comes over and just hangs out in her house?

That's some next level bullshit.

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dekage55 t1_iuk96fw wrote

Frankly, having some difficulty understanding why you are still with her…especially after her Ex seems to have Squatter’s Rights. Seems pretty disrespectful to me.

BTW, sounds like her Mom is still alive. Is she ill, to the point of passing soon?

In any case, if living on a ranch is a “hard No”, makes crystal clear that’s how you feel.

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inna_hey t1_iujx4l9 wrote

Not sure there's anything else to be said, right? Ball's in her court. Kinda seems like you're not really feeling the relationship if I read between the lines here

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misterk2020 t1_iujgrh0 wrote

I agree with your position. I wouldn’t move in at all. Sounds messy.

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slippery_eagle t1_iujzq82 wrote

I guarantee the ex will still be hanging around if they move in with you...

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KnightzEnd2 t1_iukbdzc wrote

I get why she is upset but it's a 50/50 problem. You two have real compatibility issues and at this point you seem to both be wasting eachother's time. She has zero respect for your boundaries and has made it clear how she wants to live. You have not really addressed that at all and just put a giant stop sign on all progress in the relationship. This seems to just be a true waste for everyone.

For the record I think she is the weird one. In fact super weird, but that's her right.

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[deleted] OP t1_iuk535i wrote

"My other reason is that she has almost no boundaries with her ex-husband." ----------- This is a good reason to say no to her. It might be time to find someone else.

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Normally_aspirated t1_iujshaz wrote

This is ridiculous- you have clearly communicated your needs to her and she refuses to listen. The ex husband’s behavior alone would be enough for me to move on: how come she respects his needs and not yours?

Dude you’re only 42, if you’re going to date someone with the maturity level of a 20-something, you might as well get the perks that come with it.

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