I (23f) met someone but he (25m) is weirdly deflective of my advances

Submitted by xomissblonde t3_yisbgf in relationship_advice

As the title says. Also I‘m sorry I am on mobile for any formatting issues.

I‘m a 23 year old woman. I‘ve been single for 2 years and I am starting to get so tired of it. Recently I met this really cute dude, 25 on Snapchat (please don’t judge haha). Initially he was just horny and wanted nudes. I, the cheeky woman I am, didn’t give it to him and basically just insulted him. I think that intrigued him a little. Don’t know why he didn’t kick me but he told me it was because he wanted to take revenge because I was so cheeky and impolite. We started to text and snap a lot. Just everyday things at first, then we started to get a bit deeper. Like exes and personal stuff. I even got his phone number after I finally dropped mine after 3 weeks. Never used it since we somehow stick to Snap, but well at least I got it. Gosh he is so beautiful. He has the most adorable curly hair and light brown eyes, killer lips. And he collects sneakers which I find so endearing.

Now onto my confusion- every time I hint at wanting to meet up, he completely deflects me. He doesn’t even acknowledge I said it. And it’s not because of distance, I found out he lives a 45 minute drive away. He KNOWS I like him, I am a very upfront person, but won’t openly reject me or make any move. Or hell, let me make a move!

Per example, he made a low effort dinner and it was kinda gross. He then says that he is actually a good cook and is just too lazy most of the time, but high effort meals mean a really dirty kitchen, which he doesn’t wanna deal with. I say that I wanted to cook with him sometime. He then says „I will SHOW you the kitchen next time I cook a proper meal“. I mean like ouch! I would have no problem with rejection, I can take it. Just say the words god damn it! I am confident enough to know that I am an over averagely attractive woman. I’m blonde, stand tall at 5”10, have a fair complexion and blue/green eyes. He mentioned a preference for brunettes but that shouldn’t be a f*cking dealbreaker. Maybe he doesn’t have the guts to tell me upfront but come on, we are adults.

I just don’t want to let myself fall deeper if I don’t have a chance whatsoever. Maybe he just wants to wait and test the waters but then he’d at least mention wanting to meet me. It doesn’t make sense to me. Please advise me on what to do!

1

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

Sphinx_1985 t1_iuk8j1w wrote

He was giving as little effort as needed to see you naked, and keep you as an option.

If you were his #1, he would have already driven the 45 to come and hang.

2

TyphoonCane t1_iuk9irh wrote

If I truly had to guess, this man just wants to get you to lay with him. He's got too many options to think that you're going to catch him. He's shown you that in multiple ways, by showing cold and putting on a lazy cooking performance (his words). He just wants to have the satisfaction of getting you to fall for him, to have a good night of fun, and then just move on to continued browsing for someone he feels worthy of his time and effort.

2

xomissblonde OP t1_iuk9va8 wrote

It’s so frustrating. I am worth more than that but men just want to use me.

1

TyphoonCane t1_iukbtuz wrote

It's who you're picking my dear. You pick the best looking dude within 50 miles and he's looking for the sweetest deal of a woman in the closest 200. If the guy is someone you could imagine as the prom king, then if you're not the girl everyone sees as prom queen, you'll find you've wasted your time especially as men tend to be more harsh about looks than women are.

2

AutoModerator t1_iuk7tbk wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1