Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

KoolAidOfTruthJr t1_iuitcau wrote

There is no way for anyone to give you legitimate advice without knowing the severity of what you said.

22

Round-Midnight-7011 t1_iuitiaz wrote

I understand your vagueness, you want some privacy, but without knowing what was said, it will be basically impossible to suggest an effective apology.

Some more general suggestions:

  • Since alcohol and a blackout was involved, stop drinking entirely. Reassess after 6 months what your relationship with alcohol is, and go from there.

  • Apologize sincerely, but do not grovel. Do not feel so bad and guilty about what you said that he ends up having to do the emotional labor of comforting you. At no point should he feel the need to reassure your feelings.

18

Illustrious_Video687 t1_iuizj3y wrote

I did want to keep it vague purely due to privacy but it was something along the lines of “I wish you were more fun” which I 100% do not think or feel and have never expressed anything remotely similar to. I don’t know the context or way I said it at all.

−4

Round-Midnight-7011 t1_iuizzk3 wrote

Huh. Does this touch on a specific insecurity of his?

It's not a nice comment, for sure, but it's also not long the lines of "you have never satisfied me sexually and you're pathetic". This seems a pretty strong reaction to a comment like that. I get that the comment stung, don't get me wrong! But it isn't as bad as what I imagined.

If you don't truly feel that way, can you trace your thoughts back to figure out why you said it? There is always a why, even if that why is just "I was being a salty drunk and said something to poke you to get a rise out of you."

4

Illustrious_Video687 t1_iuj0te5 wrote

Not any specific insecurities that I know of.

I’m assuming that I might have said it to get a rise out of him or as some fucked up salty drunk joke. I know that my friends and I clown on each other a lot drunk or not but I usually don’t do it around him.

0

Round-Midnight-7011 t1_iuj1knp wrote

Ok, well, sit down and think things through and get an answer that is more definitive than "I'm assuming". This isn't the time for ambiguity.

Then, when you talk, explain to him why you said that. Apologize again sincerely once, but don't belabor it. Reassure him that you don't feel that way, and use specific examples to back it up.

After that, you've really done all you can do. I don't think you should bend over backwards too much for a comment like this.

4

Guilty_Hunter9304 t1_iuitk75 wrote

Did you say he got a tiny cock? That'll do it everytime

14

benicebitch t1_iuitgf2 wrote

If you really wanted legit advice, you would say the comment.

9

JimTaggertUsa t1_iuit96i wrote

small=sensitive. You probably ruined things

6

oiler1996 t1_iuitskb wrote

what was the comment you made?

4

bigoof12 t1_iuj1wx2 wrote

Why do you need to drink to the point of getting very drunk? If you're not a nice drunk but it's something you keep doing, then maybe you should stop drinking and take a look at your "relationship" with alcohol. Drinking is fine, but like anything overdrinking can lead (and has lead) to problems

3

Illustrious_Video687 t1_iuj3yh1 wrote

I will say I did not get this drunk on purpose. And in the entire time I’ve been dating him this is about the second time either of us have gotten drunk together. I know this can come off as a bit defensive but typically having some drinks just makes me really talkative and silly and sometimes a bit handsy.

I will say I definitely do not plan to ever drink on an empty stomach again and definitely will never be getting excessively drunk around him.

0

catluvr1312 t1_iujce9y wrote

You can‘t do much more than apologizing. Give him space and be available when he‘s ready to talk.

2

AutoModerator t1_iuisu06 wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

Aurin316 t1_iujk59h wrote

Honestly, it stung and he’s still pissed. I’d just let him know you’re available to talk about it when he is and not try to force it. Seems like the kind of statement that will go away in time.

1