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small=sensitive. You probably ruined things

There is no way for anyone to give you legitimate advice without knowing the severity of what you said.

If you really wanted legit advice, you would say the comment.

I understand your vagueness, you want some privacy, but without knowing what was said, it will be basically impossible to suggest an effective apology.

Some more general suggestions:

• Since alcohol and a blackout was involved, stop drinking entirely. Reassess after 6 months what your relationship with alcohol is, and go from there.

• Apologize sincerely, but do not grovel. Do not feel so bad and guilty about what you said that he ends up having to do the emotional labor of comforting you. At no point should he feel the need to reassure your feelings.

Did you say he got a tiny cock? That'll do it everytime

what was the comment you made?

I did want to keep it vague purely due to privacy but it was something along the lines of “I wish you were more fun” which I 100% do not think or feel and have never expressed anything remotely similar to. I don’t know the context or way I said it at all.

Huh. Does this touch on a specific insecurity of his?

It's not a nice comment, for sure, but it's also not long the lines of "you have never satisfied me sexually and you're pathetic". This seems a pretty strong reaction to a comment like that. I get that the comment stung, don't get me wrong! But it isn't as bad as what I imagined.

If you don't truly feel that way, can you trace your thoughts back to figure out why you said it? There is always a why, even if that why is just "I was being a salty drunk and said something to poke you to get a rise out of you."

Not any specific insecurities that I know of.

I’m assuming that I might have said it to get a rise out of him or as some fucked up salty drunk joke. I know that my friends and I clown on each other a lot drunk or not but I usually don’t do it around him.

Ok, well, sit down and think things through and get an answer that is more definitive than "I'm assuming". This isn't the time for ambiguity.

Then, when you talk, explain to him why you said that. Apologize again sincerely once, but don't belabor it. Reassure him that you don't feel that way, and use specific examples to back it up.

After that, you've really done all you can do. I don't think you should bend over backwards too much for a comment like this.

Why do you need to drink to the point of getting very drunk? If you're not a nice drunk but it's something you keep doing, then maybe you should stop drinking and take a look at your "relationship" with alcohol. Drinking is fine, but like anything overdrinking can lead (and has lead) to problems

I will say I did not get this drunk on purpose. And in the entire time I’ve been dating him this is about the second time either of us have gotten drunk together. I know this can come off as a bit defensive but typically having some drinks just makes me really talkative and silly and sometimes a bit handsy.

I will say I definitely do not plan to ever drink on an empty stomach again and definitely will never be getting excessively drunk around him.

You can‘t do much more than apologizing. Give him space and be available when he‘s ready to talk.

Never small enough to fit in her ear

Honestly, it stung and he’s still pissed. I’d just let him know you’re available to talk about it when he is and not try to force it. Seems like the kind of statement that will go away in time.