Man walked up to me and the store and said I was beautiful. Is it overreacting to be bothered by it?

Submitted by Lucky_Daikon_95 t3_yiltpj in relationship_advice

What the title says. I was in the store, looking for Halloween treats, when a guy I had walked past earlier walked up to me again and said, "Excuse me? I just wanted to tell you that you are very beautiful." I said thank you and he walked away.

Like. I feel guys pull "innocent" moves like this so they can't be called out on their creepy behavior, because why else would you need to come up and tell me that? Do you get off on making women uncomfortable?

And I think I'm attractive enough, but even I don't think I'm "very beautiful." You're just being horny and weird, stop it.

Or, is it true: am I just overreacting?

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Comments

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davev9365720263 t1_iujacmg wrote

You are overreacting. He came up, paid you a compliment, you thanked him, and he left.

Why are you uncomfortable receiving a compliment that receiving one makes you uncomfortable and you deem it creepy?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You don't think you are very beautiful but he did. And, he told you.

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Lucky_Daikon_95 OP t1_iujatpy wrote

Thanks for sharing. I considered this as well, but doubted myself, so I wanted to hear outside opinion too. Maybe you're right.

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eatinbugz t1_iujbq5s wrote

Maybe this is just because I've never been approached in a kind way by an attractive man in public. Lol putting myself on blast here. But yeah if they're not hot its creepy.

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eatinbugz t1_iujbkf4 wrote

No, I think you're right. When I'm in public I don't want to be approached by men. Men are so gross. It's not even about the substance of what they're saying, if they're flirting with me it's gross.

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childofcraigslist t1_iujgj0l wrote

He literally walked away after she said thank you.

I hate street harassment to my very core, but a simple compliment with no expectation of anything further is not harassment or flirting.

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lodebolt t1_iujbcsx wrote

If he hung around creeping on you I would say you weren't overreacting but all he did was pay you a compliment and move on, you have every right to feel how you want but I feel it's an overreaction for someone maybe just trying to brighten your day.

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Biauralbeats t1_iujchyr wrote

Not everything is a creep move. Sometimes a compliment is just that.

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PermaThrowaway111 t1_iujauk8 wrote

I mean, it seems that men are kind of in a no-win situation these days when it comes to cold approach. That was the only way to do it previous to online dating. You approach a woman who you believe is attractive and attempt to strike up a conversation.

But I will say, the level of attractiveness of the guy approaching does seem to play a significant part in whether or not the compliment is well received or not.

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Lucky_Daikon_95 OP t1_iujbbql wrote

>But I will say, the level of attractiveness of the guy approaching does seem to play a significant part in whether or not the compliment is well received or not.

I knew someone would say this, lol. He was attractive, but that's not really the issue, I think.

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InitialWorldliness82 t1_iujcsyl wrote

Lol I guess you don’t get compliments often…yes you’re overreacting.

Now for instance on the way to cross the street for my childrens parade this morning this man stopped said that, and Proceeded to wait at the light and ask me prying questions about my relationship status, my children (didn’t answer a question) and more.

If he woulda kept it at “you’re beautiful” I woulda felt like I am having a good hair day or good day lol but there’s a clear difference between creepiness and politeness. Have discernment

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Lucky_Daikon_95 OP t1_iujda51 wrote

Thanks for sharing. I did have a sheltered background so I have to ask others to make sure I'm seeing things right sometimes

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InitialWorldliness82 t1_iujdfey wrote

No problem and sorry if I came off rude reading back the First sentence didn’t need to be said

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KnownSo t1_iujcwte wrote

I think it’s okay for you to be bothered by it. I’m kind of in the same boat because I don’t like to be perceived at all when I’m out in public and sometimes you just want to go about your life and not have someone come up to you even to pay a compliment

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Murky_Anxiety4884 t1_iujfqvw wrote

Emergency vehicles have a sign warning people not to follow too close. Maybe people should wear jackets saying, Do not approach.

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idkthisisnotmyusual t1_iujd837 wrote

You’re not over reacting, some guys do this to gauge your reaction so they can harass you later. I’ve had it happen, my friends have had it happen watch out for yourself

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MarriedLife7 t1_iuj9v2l wrote

So part of me wishes someone would have ever done this to me lol but no I would say that it would be uncomfortable about random people just coming up and saying this stuff.

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davev9365720263 t1_iujamfu wrote

Men are beginning to not approach women at all because giving compliments or even saying hi is considered creepy.

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Missmoni2u t1_iujcjn6 wrote

Good.

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davev9365720263 t1_iujddmh wrote

Who hurt you?

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Missmoni2u t1_iujfuco wrote

Thats not a witty response anymore lol. In any case its really just not well received half the time so it's probably good that they stop approaching random women and making them uncomfortable.

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MarriedLife7 t1_iujdfw9 wrote

Please this is B.S. People are still dating all the time. Just because you feel bad you can't hoot at a woman who walks by you doesn't mean men can't approach women.

She is allowed to feel how she is in the situation that occurred. You might not like it that women are able to express their dislikes of these situation but you shouldn't try to control how they feel.

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davev9365720263 t1_iujdjjo wrote

Who hurt you?

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childofcraigslist t1_iujgvwu wrote

Probably a large volume of men consistently harassing her over the course of a lifetime since she was like 13, which is around the age most women report first getting catcalled.

If men want to point the finger at someone, blame creepy men who ruin it for everyone else, not women who are just trying to go about their day.

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davev9365720263 t1_iujhpq2 wrote

Who hurt YOU?

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childofcraigslist t1_iuji6tj wrote

I literally just told you. Who hurt you that you're a broken record when women tell you exactly why they don't allow you to harass them with impunity?

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davev9365720263 t1_iujidap wrote

Who hurt you? Come on, you can tell us.

Who hurt you at 13?

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childofcraigslist t1_iujipo5 wrote

I literally told you. It's...like, RIGHT there in my comment.

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davev9365720263 t1_iujj18t wrote

Thanks for admitting you are taking the acts of a few boys when you were 13 and then painting all males with that same brush because you are immature and can't get over things.

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childofcraigslist t1_iujjflb wrote

Honey, please read my comment before getting offended. I explicitly said a lifetime of harassment BEGINNING at 13.

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davev9365720263 t1_iujjotk wrote

I did read your post. You had something happen at 13 and now see it everywhere because you couldn't get over it.

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childofcraigslist t1_iujlpfj wrote

I am kind of astounded that someone can be so stubborn and so wrong at the same time. It's okay that you didn't understand my comment but it's embarrassing to double down on it.

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davev9365720263 t1_iujlzeg wrote

Oh, I understand it quite well. It is you who doesn't understand herself.

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childofcraigslist t1_iujm7am wrote

Thanks, Socrates. I'll be sure to embroider that on a pillow. It's your business if you want to continue blaming women for the fact that they want nothing to do with you.

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davev9365720263 t1_iujmalo wrote

You can go along with your life hating men. I don't actually care what you think because you have shown you are nothing but a sexist bigot.

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childofcraigslist t1_iujmgh5 wrote

I love men. I don't love creepy men like you, nor do most women. I defended the guy in the post in another comment. If women are creeped out by you every time you talk to them, that's a you thing.

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davev9365720263 t1_iujmk13 wrote

Except you think all men who approach women are creepy. You hate men.

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childofcraigslist t1_iujmop2 wrote

I defended the guy in the post, as I said. I know reading is hard.

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davev9365720263 t1_iujnap3 wrote

You didn't defend the guy in the post.

You don't know me and call me creepy for defending the guy in the post and for defending my reply.

You are a sexist and hate men.

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childofcraigslist t1_iujnjzh wrote

Yes I did. From my comment defending him from someone calling him gross:

> He literally walked away after she said thank you.

> I hate street harassment to my very core, but a simple compliment with no expectation of anything further is not harassment or flirting.

If women always think you're creepy, you're the common denominator.

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Missmoni2u t1_iujcb54 wrote

We honestly won't know. He might have been creepy or he might have innocently been trying to pay you a genuine compliment.

Personally, im on the same boat. Really not a fan of men just randomly coming up to me and telling me im pretty, hot, beautiful, etc. You don't know me like that.

Ultimately your response is whatever it is. All we can do is acknowledge that it happened and move on.

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