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I think you know what's going on. You aren't a priority in her life, and it sounds like she's still dating.

Yeah. . . Think these gut feelings are ever wrong?

Very much disagree with the other user.

I barely ever reply to texts and pretty much never pick up my phone, when im hanging out with friends, cause im just enjoying the moment and the conversations etc.

This is not in any way a proof that my gf is not a priority in my life - she very much is and she knows that. But just like i wont expect her to reply to me all the time when shes out, she doesnt expect me to do so either.

Like you gotta also let your partners have space and time on their own too, folks.

I just feel like it wouldn't have taken much effort to say "hey I'll be back around 3 or 4" or "hey I'm not coming back tonight". Idk. We should figure out what the expectation is there that's reasonable to her.

Im just saying, not everything automatically needs to be a big conspiracy to cheat on you or whatnot.

Again, i can only speak for myself, but i think almost everybody has been in a situation where they are out with their friends and having a good time, they see a message on their phone and just think to themselves that theyll reply later. I know i have.

So my advice would be, to on one hand talk to your gf about your and her expectations, but please not in a demanding or.accusatory way. I guarantee you that will make.her annoyed.

Id also advice you, to not obsess over what your gf is doing when shes out. At a certain point you also have to trust her. If she really was cheating, no amount of obsessing would prevent her from doing so anyways.

And on a sidenote, an ex of mine would routinely send me "thinking of you" texts when she was out. She was the only gf i had that ended up actually cheating on me. Just to put things into perspective

If you feel left out and insecure, talk to her about that. Maybe she will see if you're welcome at the events too so you can put your mind at ease.

Why does she need to check in with you? I'm confused. People in relationships are allowed to go out and focus on the fun at hand and not check their phones.

Just to let me know if she's coming back that night. Could've let me know before she left.

She was watching the game and hanging with her friends, not looking at her phone. Why does she have to ‘check in’ with you when she’s busy? That’s a really odd relationship dynamic to me. You not being invited is a separate issue.

Personal experience: my gf worries a lot about me when I‘m on business trips. She wants me to check in just to know I haven‘t been in a car crash or similar. I oblige, always annoyed but I do, because she has a point. In other situations, that would feel like I‘m twelve and shouldn‘t be out past curfew.

Might not be much physical effort, but the mental effort of telling someone „no, I‘m a responsible adult of sound mind, the situation is under control“ can be immense. Why would you even doubt that?

It might not feel like that to you, but it sure does to me, and I suspect it does to her. Would you feel better if she answered „I‘ll be out a little later, catching a cab around 4. Love ya honey 😘“ while getting railed by another dude? Worst case that‘s all you would achieve.

I‘d advise splitting this up into two problems: You wanting her to check in more often. You worrying she might want to cheat on you.

Do not mix them with each other, cause neither‘s solution will do fuckall for the other problem - at least if problem #1 doesn‘t exists solely because #2 exists.

Ok. I'm grateful for the perspective.

That's a good question to ask myself. Thank you.

When you have a good time with your friends it happens that you won't check your phone, because you are socializing.

Also it isn't very polite to be on your phone ever hour to text someone else while you're a guest.

If you want you partner to send you a message when they are coming home then ask them "hey would you mind sending me a text when you are on your way home?" , But don't expect your partner to text with you all the time especially when they are visiting someone else.

You wouldn't like it if your partner was on their phone the whole time when they are with you to spend time with you?

some people genuinely don’t look at their phones when hanging out with friends.

She is typically on her phone all the time when we are together. I completely understand that it feels gross to have to update me like they're a kid with a curfew. . . I didn't give enough weight to her feelings about that.

Does she not have a key?

99% of the time it true, if she is on her phone nonstop with you, but can't text back for hours when she is "out" , something doesn't add up.

/Why would she ignore her phone all night? because she was busy with her friends

She is actively interviewing for your replacement. Better reign this in.