Feeling kind of dumb for posting this, but also feeling really bitter. Wondering how I should proceed.

Tl;dr: Found some videos of nude/near nude influencers on my bf’s old phone. He acted stunned/in denial when I explained what I saw until I showed him the evidence. He said it was to see if he could be aroused. Should I forget this happened & move on or is this the red flag I think it is?

BF and I have been dating long distance for 5 years, only seeing each other twice IRL in that time. The borders closed to his country during the pandemic when we had plans to see each other again. After the restrictions lifted, we decided together that I would apply for a visa, go to school there, and stay with him (basically moving in with him).

Things of course went really well for a while, almost as if no time has passed. We get really comfortable with our routines, sleeping next to one another, going to the shops, and doing things couples do. We decided to share the same phone plan and he upgrades his phone so he can give his older phone model to his mother.

A month goes by and he still hasn’t wiped the old phone for his mum…and then another month…and then another. I overheard his mother one day complaining about her phone battery life. I told her that I could try wiping my bf’s old phone for her so she could finally use it.

I took it, unlocked it, and the first thing that popped up was a video of a girl twerking on YouTube in a thong. I thought nothing of it, maybe YouTube autoplayed it or something??? And then I pressed back on his phone and saw the YouTube search history. It was a full page of specific women names (mostly streamers, influencers, and body builders) basically nude or in bikinis, twerking and doing sexy things. Some girls were influencers he “complained” to me about, but still followed on instagram/ other platforms which I found odd at the time.

I felt sick to my stomach since when we met, I was in my prime fitnesses wise. We had both gained some weight since the pandemic and our sex life steadily slowed once I had been in the country for about a month. I felt like I was always the initiator. I just figured it was because we were both busy/tired… but now I suspect something else. :(

I had the whole day to think about it, and by the time he came home from work, I was able to calmly explain to him exactly what I saw. He had a face like a deer in headlights when I told him, feigning ignorance, asking me exactly what I saw. I told him it must have been the past week because of the dates on the videos/search history. (There’s no way his memory would be that short if it had happened within the last few days surely???) The whole response from him felt like an act and insincere imo. I told him if he wanted to see exactly what I saw, it was still on his phone. He came back in the room after looking at the search history and said “oh” with his head hanging low. He apologised profusely, afraid of me packing up and going home. I told him that wasn’t my intention, it wasn’t like he was cheating on me, but it really stung. It felt like a big leap for him to immediately think that though which makes me feel more suspicious.

He said he did it because we was seeing if he could be sexually aroused. If that was the case, don’t you think he would have tried with me?

For 2 days after he tried to do everything I wanted, even talked about getting me an animal, which I declined. Now he’s been super lovey~dovey and I can’t help but feel like my hurt feelings are wrong or I’m overreacting. How do I move on from this and build trust again? I wonder if this is really as big of a flag as I think it is.