Hello people of reddit I went on a date recently and he's a much older man so I want your opinion does the age difference matter? And how do I know he's not just using me

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Badtrainwreck t1_iuk520g wrote on October 31, 2022 at 11:04 PM

Age definitely matters, but once you are 25 you’re a full an adult and can make whatever choice you want. Can you date this person and be happy sure, but it’s especially important to consider the things you wish to experience in life and if this persons also willing to experience those with you, because many times older people already experienced things and have no desire to try it again. That’s a generalization and not always true but something to think about

Creative_Recover t1_iuk9ebd wrote on October 31, 2022 at 11:38 PM

Age can matter, but its a very individual thing (it doesn't matter to everyone). If you're very different ages then your life goals could be very different, I think it's important for you to have some conversations about where you're at in life (do you want kids, does he have kids, do you want to travel or settle down, etc?).
Trust your gut instincts, look out for red flag behaviours.
A guy who see's you as real respectable relationship material will be happy to introduce you to his friends and family after a little while.

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Mintblock_ t1_iuk7lif wrote on October 31, 2022 at 11:24 PM

It definitely matters. Find someone at the same stage of life as you.

FatTony394 t1_iuk84ai wrote on October 31, 2022 at 11:28 PM

What do you mean by using you?

To me, this concept only really applies to young vulnerable girls who are being groomed and manipulated by an older guy. These boys or men use the girl's naivete against her. These men pretend that they are in love and in a relationship with these young people but only want nudes and sex, etc.

When we are talking about fully grown adults in their 20s, no one is getting used. Adults decide to have sex in the moment. It isn't transactional. The woman isn't exchanging sex for a committed relationship. Sex doesn't mean either of them is owed a long-term relationship. There is no inherent value in our sexy times. People aren't somehow diminished when they decide to f@#k.

I've been both 25 and 38. That's an inappropriate age gap.

Traditional_Fortune6 t1_iuk9sy4 wrote on October 31, 2022 at 11:41 PM

I think it would be difficult to be in a relationship with this age difference. It's hard to have a basis for a healthy relationship here. When I was 25, I wouldn't have had anything at all in common with my 38 year old self. It's almost different worlds.