DisMyLik8thAccount OP t1_iuidw8g wrote on October 31, 2022 at 3:47 PM

Reply to comment by tinny36 in How To Tactfully Tell Him His Messy Room Is A Turn Off? by DisMyLik8thAccount

Oh sorry, that was a weird typo. I Meant to say, 'I Definitely want to avoid his place' not 'avoid him'. I Don't want to avoid him, I still like him

>Next time you agree to get together, you can say 'so I can come to your place but like, YOu've been to my place, you see what my apartment is like, I like a made bed, with sheets on it...I mean, girls like neat and tidy, you know? (laugh)

Funny thing is I kinda tried this already, before I'd even seen his place. The other night we were chatting online and he said, 'Well if you're coming I better tidy up a bit, I've let the place get kinda messy'. (Or words along those lines) Now I have before encountered men like him who are blind to mess and don't clean up properly, and I wanted to make sure he knew my expectations to avoid this very situation. So I half-jokingly said, 'Yeah you better had, I like a clean space lol' just to drop the hint in case he needed it. Didn't work though evidently. So yeah, at this point I think if I'm gonna say anything I need to be direct, hints don't work

tinny36 t1_iuif5kz wrote on October 31, 2022 at 3:55 PM

Ha, clearly.

Or, since dudes play games just as much as they complain WE do, he could have done it on purpose to kind of show you he's NOT putting effort into this, as a relationship.

Either way, if it's just a fwb and transactional...you're not worried about cultivating a 'relationship', then definitely set out your standards. YOu can say 'yeah...I'm not going back to your place unless you clean up. I'm not sleeping directly on a mattress and wiping crumbs off my skin. So, I'm sorry, but you either 'really' clean up this time, or we stay at my place.

You'll be able to figure out if/when you get tired of his laziness and always being the host.