Personally I think he is a lost case.

When you have made your points/ expectations clear and he continues to break them it is time to start preparing to leave.

He is clearly very controlling and in addition sounds like he is gaslighting you as well. His behavior is unacceptable.

If you want, give him a last chance, start searching for a new place to stay - and when he fails - you leave.

That is if you do not leave now - he sounds like a lot of red flags.

You tell him to stop or you’re breaking up with him. Then, if he doesn’t stop, break up with him. Explain that you won’t date someone that invades your privacy like that. Picking locks like that is honestly probably worse than just going through your phone. This is in serious crazy territory. Don’t allow him to do this any longer.

This is not just invasive, it's creepy. Picking the lock when you're in the bathroom?? That's completely unacceptable. Never ok. And cleaning your desk and commenting on your private art practice is SO horribly invasive. god that must have felt awful.

"I don't know why you think it's ok to invade my privacy in the bathroom or in my personal spaces. I don't know why you haven't listened to me saying I don't want you to do those things. But hear me now. It is NEVER ok to barge in when I'm in the bathroom and it is NEVER ok to touch my desk or to touch or read anything on it. I NEVER want you to do that again. This is a deal-breaker for me. If you do it again I will leave you.

Okay, so firstly, you're completely in the right here and he's being a total douche canoe.

That said, you ask him if you do that stuff to him but have you straight up told him to stop? And if he doesnt stop, what are you willing to do? Bc boundaries arent "do/dont do that thing" , they're "this person violated a clearly communicated boundary, therefore they dont get access to me".

For some tips and tricks on boundary formation, i recommend this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/3davsm/tip_setting_boundaries/

Honestly if it were me, I'd break up with him. I cant imagine being treated this way, nor treating someone else this way. And trust, its not that he doesnt understand, its that he doesnt care about your discomfort. He simply does not respect you.

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