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FaceTheJury t1_iyea02l wrote

This is a terrible idea. You would be running the risk that he regrets it and then can’t look at you the same. Fantasy does not always translate well to reality.

But if you are going to do it, for the sake of your marriage, you might want to go to a sex therapist together first so you can discuss boundaries and all the post-bj feelings that could come up.

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pinback77 t1_iyeaais wrote

It sounds like you are on the fence. If you are on the fence, I would not do it. Maybe you are better off as a couple going to a place where you can watch other people do these sorts of things first and see if you like the idea of watching people and then maybe the idea of you being watched yourselves.

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FaceTheJury t1_iyeijk2 wrote

This is a good idea to also test the waters. But they still should discuss strict boundaries before going to a swingers party.

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Connect-Industry-702 t1_iyeggxl wrote

He wants you to give a BJ to someone else or he wants someone else to watch you do it on him??

Either way, you get to choose if you’re comfortable with acts or not. You’re not an object that’s just there to do whatever he wants.

If you don’t want to do it, say no.

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mrgees100peas t1_iyedslh wrote

There is fanatsy and there is and wuite often the 2 of them dont mix. Similar scenarios pop up in relationship advicw all the time and they all gonthe same.way. one oartner had this great idea of sharing oartnwrs, have 3 somes, opeb the relationship etc. They pwp talkmthe other partner. They eventually follow thru withnthw idea and thennthe partner whos great idea it was to begingnwithngets all butt hurt because the whole thing did not go as how they envisioned it would. This is one ofnthose hoghnrisk low reward scenarios.

Another things that makes it even worse is that the other person is a friend. That closeness usuallyntend to make itnworse psychologically. Not sure why but it does. My guess is that when all its said and done he will still havento deal with the friend vs if itnwas a stanger then put of sight out of mind. There is also the issue of not being an equal trade. His friend gets a bj but he doesn't get a bj from thenfriend wife or girlfriend or whatever other trade people see as fair. People tend to feel cheated in scenarios like this. Then there is the issue of whatnof the friend finds the BJ meh! That conversation aint going to go down well.

I tell you what. Grab a dildo and a picture of his friends face. Tape the picture to the wall and go down onnthe dildo in front of your husband and let him think about that for a few days. Feel free to exagerate, maybe saybthe friends name every now and then, how good his cock is etc. If he cant handle that then forget about the real deal.

Again, high risk, low reward.

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AreiaMage t1_iyefh5e wrote

If you’re not comfortable with that, tell him so.

And if he keeps pushing after he KNOWS you’re uncomfortable with it, then you will have to realize you’re married to someone that does not value your sexual comfort.

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muffiewrites t1_iyefi0a wrote

You're talking about what he wants, not what you want. The fact is that you're not sure you're into the idea. Unless you're 100% into the idea, you should say no.

Him wanting to show off your BJ skills sounds absolutely horrible.

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Odd-Jackfruit-2375 t1_iyeib2t wrote

And what happens when he can never look at you the same after? I'm sitting next to my partner and he read this...he said "yea he's happy that his wife gives good bj's and thinks he wants to show it off...I know what it's like to have the best oral of my life (gave me a kiss and I blushed like a school girl) it makes you feel like a king. I have absolutely no desire to show it off and the thought actually makes me sick, but this guy feels like he wants to share HIS WIFE with his friend-thinks it will be sexy and a turn on, thinks it will be like a porno...and after she does whatever she does to this friend, her husband will completely regret it and use it against her at every opportunity. Every argument, every fight, every disagreement he will use this to make her feel guilty...guilty for something he asked her to do. Tell her not to do it. Well shit all this talk about bj's has me in the mood for one, you feeling generous?" I am, actually.

Don't do it.

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blessedsomeofthetime t1_iyelys9 wrote

No. What is private between you two should stay private between you two. Most things are best left in the fantasy category. Can't he just fantasize that you are being watched by his buddy?

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Nubzombie t1_iyehb7e wrote

I think you and him need to have a conversation or two. Why does he want this to happen? What’s his fantasy here is he gonna be able to handle it if it became a reality. Are you truly OK with doing it or what do you get from it? I had met a husband and wife couple. He wanted to try it. Bisexual threesome with another guy. After lots of discussion, we decided we would go for it. For me it was not the first time, but for either of them it was a first time for a threesome and his first bisexual experience.
To make a long story short once the sex started he chickened out, but his wife didn’t wanna stop. She rode me well he sat in the corner pissed off For me. It was very awkward and uncomfortable with a whole lot of guilt for not putting my foot down and telling her to stop. It was also pretty clear that really damage the relationship. Now I had done the same thing with two other couples at all those experiences were amazing. So as long as everybody’s willing and there are clear-cut boundaries, it could be a lot of fun.

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Alive-Insurance2662 t1_iyetp9x wrote

I’m guessing he has an issue with porn that needs addressed more than anything

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Malibucat48 t1_iyeuzoc wrote

You might be the best your husband has had but not the best his friend has had. Ask him what will happen if his friend is not impressed? Or worse, if his friend is so turned on, you are now the fantasy that his friend masturbates to. Does your husband really want his friends to think of you giving head to them? And if friend wants to join in while watching? There are so many things that can go wrong. Tell your husband you are glad he’s happy, but what goes on in your bedroom is private and you are insulted that he thinks it is a spectator sport. Next he will be asking for a threesome. Shut that down as well.

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Mountain_Monitor_262 t1_iyevr16 wrote

He’ll turn it against you later and then say that all he was doing is showing his skills off to this girl (probably one of your friends). If you don’t want tit for tat then don’t do it.

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