Submitted by rosesandkittens5 t3_z93thv in relationship_advice

Tldr; My son is not my husbands I’ve just realised this that my eldest isn’t his. I always knew it a possibility but now it’s all too real.

I’ve been with my husband for 8 years.

My son isn’t my husbands. I realised this recently when my son looks very similar to his other possible father and nothing like my husband or even me. Im scared my husband will realise now and am living in paranoia.

We have a 18 month old daughter too who is most likely my husbands and a son on the way so I have been faithful recently.

I don’t know what to do because I love my husband and our children but im also afraid and I don’t know what to do. The only other person I’ve told recently is my brother and he just said that if things go wrong I can always have the option to leave and go to him. I’m a stay at home mum so I wouldn’t really be able to move out on my own.

I really have no idea what to do which is why I’m on here.

0

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1

Machopsdontcry t1_iyetu3s wrote

You tell him now before he wastes even more time of his life pretending to be a father to a kid that isn't his. You own up to also cheating around the period the 2nd kid was conceived and most likely you'll be justifiably forced to do DNA tests on all kids due to your unfaithfulness.

If you're worried about him correctly getting angry then you inform him with somebody else by your side and prepare for all possible outcomes. You can't blame him especially if he has no idea that you were cheating multiple times already

8

Intheboxalready t1_iyeu3s7 wrote

" so I have been faithful recently." wtf does that mean? If you cheated on your husband, you need to tell him. You are not only cheating, but lying and deceiving him as well. He is married to the person you are pretending to be. It's beyond shitty if you don't tell him. You are shitty anyways if you cheated......

He should not be stuck with your affair baby. You sound so selfish......

34

rotonoscope t1_iyeu8oc wrote

Do you feel like your husband would react violently?

Because if not, I feel like the person you should talk to...is your husband. If you've been unfaithful, that's not really something to keep to yourself. He deserves to know the truth.

4

canadianbriguy1 t1_iyeu95n wrote

So am I understanding right that your oldest is the product of cheating, your 18 month old might be the product of cheating, but your confident your current pregnancy is his. So he doesn’t know about the repeated cheating? I’m not going to offer advice on how to continue to deceive your husband.

16

1dreamer3 t1_iyeuadq wrote

Actions have consequences unfortunately your actions have consequences for many people, you must tell him the truth and hopefully he loves you enough to forgive you. This is not something you can keep secret with many companies like 23and me.

2

DeiuArdeiu t1_iyeujn6 wrote

Leave the poor man alone. Holy shit... not even his 18 months daughter, but you love him?

Just tell him and have your bags ready. Of your kids too...

19

jinsoox t1_iyeuvbk wrote

So you cheat on your husband so much that you now don’t even know which kids are his and which aren’t? I’m confused

10

dragon12892 t1_iyevld4 wrote

Almost definitely. Wow, so not even 100%. You need to tell him now, the longer you wait, the messier this will get. Their biological fathers need to know too. Wanna see the fall out when you wait til the oldest is 18 and does a 23andMe?

9

CermaitLaphroaig t1_iyevlv0 wrote

So you've been actively cheating within the last 2 years as well?

Oof. Well... good luck

4

VariationX7 t1_iyevprw wrote

Wtf does half of this mean "My daughter who is most likely my husbands" You are one awful human being. Tell him he deserves to know and your kids deserve to know who their father is. I feel so bad for your husband

3

1dreamer3 t1_iyew9qc wrote

That's what I would say but unfortunately with children it gets complicated also with her being a stay-at-home it can get extremely expensive for him even if he did absolutely nothing wrong

2

jmgon79 t1_iyewx94 wrote

You’re fucken trash

10

rosesandkittens5 OP t1_iyewyej wrote

Please no the first time was when I was at the start of our relationship and weren’t even properly together. I just got pregnant and he thought our son was his and that happened. Now the time that my daughter was conceived I was with a person I loved in the past a lot but couldn’t be with so it was a long time coming really

−27

Square_Water4636 t1_iyex0sm wrote

In the age of 23 and Me, this was always going to come out eventually. The best thing you can do is tell him now, so you can express remorse and give him enough respect to make an informed decision on your marriage. If he finds out any other way, he will leave for sure.

4

Tailbone77 t1_iyex2pg wrote

Are you for real lady?? Wow

The truth always comes out and I hope it does soon, so he can see what a BIG POS he's dealing with...

Wow...just fu*king wow

12

VariationX7 t1_iyey8vp wrote

You're even trying to justify your cheating? You really have no remorse at all, you are horrible, truly horrible. " It was a long time coming" I can't. If you truly have any form of love for your husband or any decency left in you, you tell him the truth, but I doubt you will

18

VariationX7 t1_iyezbec wrote

And that means you can just cheat? It isn't a long time coming when you're in monogamous relationship, tell your husband the truth and go be with that guy then. You show no accountability, no remorse for you actions, no feeling sorry for your husband that he is raising children that aren't his and living a lie. You're beyond help, hope karma slaps you back.

17

helpmewitha t1_iyezpjx wrote

And depending what state they are in, he could still end up paying child support for the children that aren’t his just because they were married at the time of their birth. Even if DNA proves the kid isn’t his. This has happened to friends and family of mine.

3

Tailbone77 t1_iyf5i9t wrote

😆😆 you're fu*king delusional yes...

You're cheating on your husband and asking if I'm angry...lmfao

I really hope he finds out the truth as soon as possible and kicks your dumb ass to the curb...

7

rosesandkittens5 OP t1_iyf6t93 wrote

I’m not a bad person in the way of “oh no she’s evil” I’m a good person and have just made some decisions that don’t fit to many peoples idea of good but I’m alright with that. I love my children and my brother and my husband and those are the most important things.

−4

SnooWords4839 t1_iyf6x60 wrote

We have a 18 month old daughter too who is most likely my husbands and a son on the way so I have been faithful recently.

Please be a troll!!

3

Tensionheadache11 t1_iyf7d6k wrote

So you been cheating in him off and on for 8 years ? Ya you suck

5

JACSliver t1_iyfc8f9 wrote

If something can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth.

2