Submitted by KenMagus1600 t3_z8unky in relationship_advice
Long post.. I [29M] have been in a relationship with my gf [32F] for over 3 years. We’ve had several deep experiences at this point and are very intertwined with relationships. We’ve gotten to know each others family and spent time during holidays together with the others family, gone on group trips and been in weddings together. Was planning to propose and have a ring but now have doubts every time I get close to an actual proposal.
The main issue is that I also think I’m curious to explore sexually swinging with other partners, threesomes or swaps. I’ve never done it so I’m honestly not even positive I could handle the experience but I think about it and fantasize about it sometimes. My gf doesn’t have any interest in it at all. She doesn’t like the idea of sharing a significant other.
We decided to be celibate early on and wait to have sex until marriage. However as time went on I couldn’t control my sexual desire. I didn’t know how to have the conversation with her later on since we had agreed to our plan from the jump. I have an unfortunate habit of trying to do things I think the other person wants and not always saying what I want regardless of outcome. When the sexual frustration became too much for me I cheated on her with escorts. I have owned up to this and we’re working through it.
She’s a great woman to marry and I love so much about her and what our life could look like. A lot of the time I know she would be a great wife and we would make an incredible married couple and family. But sometimes I wonder if these same feelings will become an issue down the line, making me feel like I’m trapped or resentful to the relationship.
We’re both obviously a little older so I don’t want to waste time but I’m really not sure what to do. I brought this all up to her and we’re in the middle of conversations now with her deciding if we should stay together. My emotions are mixed up but I wonder if I should push on us breaking up, or if these are challenges you have to deal with as a married couple.
TLDR: I’m a in a long term relationship but think I’m a very sexual person. I thought I could and should compromise for a great woman to marry, but not sure it’s the right choice now
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