FUUUUUUUCK I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

Submitted by GARRY_LOST t3_z8hu5f in relationship_advice

Its been almost two years since i got in a relationship with my girlfriend, me 21M she 25F, and along the way we’ve committed ourselves to some pretty serious stuff. We moved into a house together, mixed our furniture, we bought a dog, adopted a cat, and well the list goes on. Im not unhappy with the way she behaves or anything, I do love her, but lately i feel like a dick for having promiscuous urges and my head is in another place completely. Im 21 and she’s close to turning 25, IMO not that big of a difference but she’s already picturing our life together, and i cant keep the thoughts of being with other women and partying while also keeping myself busy with work and sports. I know this sounds selfish as fuck but its just the way i feel and its not like i get to live another life either. I feel like im wasting my time, but she loves me a lot and i do too but i dont want to be the dick in this picture. What happens with the dog? The whole idea of splitting our mixed furniture, its a hassle. Its not just like, “yeah sorry, bye” we have a lot of stuff invested. Also i dont feel sexually attracted to her as much anymore, i dont feel like she takes care of her body, i sound like a total douche but its literally something i cant ignore. Aside from all of this im afraid of how she would react. She’s bipolar and ive seen her in her worst moments, its not pretty at all. Her mom who’s a huge influence and safenet to her doesnt live in the country anymore so im afraid if i just dump her she’ll lose her fucking mind and hurt herself. If we were 6 months in i wouldnt be overthinking as much but this is complicated. Her tendency to emotional distress and all the shit we have committed is really making me stall on this decision. I dont know what to do. Im a prick

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ChocolateChouxCream t1_iybp7jl wrote

I don't think you're a prick for thinking the relationship has run its course for you and you want to go separate ways. You'll be a prick if you keep this up for much longer - don't you think she deserves someone who loves and wants to be with her? It's not you anymore.

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Imaginary_Evidence27 t1_iybpwfw wrote

No choice but to sit her down and explain how you're feeling and talk about where you guys can go from here. It doesn't sound as though you want to keep working on the relationship, and she definitely has a right to know that and to not waste any more time with someone who doesn't actually want to be with her. If the "hassle" of splitting up furniture and pure guilt are the only things keeping you with her, it may be time to end the relationship. She may feel blindsided and may not react well, but I really hope you two can eventually have an honest, kind and thoughtful discussion about your future. You're both very young and are going to meet many more people and have new experiences and learning to communicate about tough things in a considerate way is going to help you both a lot in the long run. Be brave and good luck!

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