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childish_badda_bingo t1_iydazw5 wrote

Reply to comment by TheHunyBadjer in Is there any way to save my relationship after cheating? by [deleted]

This isn’t a just a mistake. Cheating fundamentally breaks trust. Whenever she goes somewhere or is texting too much, his first thought will be is she cheating again and lying to my face?

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TheHunyBadjer t1_iydcq05 wrote

1000 percent agree. but what if he forgives her fully and she is actually trying her best not to be a fuck up and is doing so through all the right channels. What i am saying is the relationship can be saved it just requires all parties to actually want to save it

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childish_badda_bingo t1_iydd27o wrote

I think in order for this to work there has to be a level of scrutiny most adults don’t want and don’t have the energy for.

She’d have to give complete access to her phone at all times and location at all times. And respond to text and phone calls immediately. And if she ever goes radio silent or disappears for “me time”, then the relationship is over.

It’s too much.

Then you get into the notion of balancing the scales. Every time there is a fight or resentment well she cheated. So she’s always wrong.

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TheHunyBadjer t1_iyddvmf wrote

See I think you are projecting what YOU would do in this case. Because I know people personally who have stayed with a cheater and don't act that way, they don't ask for the password or expect immediate replies or are bothered by silence.

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childish_badda_bingo t1_iydgfp4 wrote

Certainly. I think the relationships you’ve thrown out as anecdotes simply won’t work in the long run. And taking back a cheater is 99% of the time a mistake. Because cheaters don’t stop cheating.

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