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TyphoonCane t1_iyesqot wrote

First off you can't push past his comfort zone until he is comfortable moving that zone. In terms of being a teacher, the most gentle way you can handle the situation is to be very concise with your directions. You cannot expect to give him a list and he'll be okay the whole list mastered. It's more one step at a time, show me what you want. Tonight we'll try this. This time I want you to try doing this. Okay do you feel confident enough to try something new now? Those sorts of hands on slow build ups. Don't aim for him to be able to master every lesson in a single session. Aim to get a little growth out of him every session.

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Sad_Stuff8265 OP t1_iyeun21 wrote

That's great advice! I don't want to cross his boundaries ever. Little steps are completely fine with me, but everything I tried like communicating it verbally, trying to take the lead, tell him what I would like(which is nothing crazy I promise, I think I told him I would like us to try some other positions than just missionary, like any other) just failed. When we talk about it, he's really interested and enthusiastic, but when it comes to the deed itself, just nothing happens. I would love to hear some new tips on how to make those little steps!

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TyphoonCane t1_iyex683 wrote

First you need to select a starting point. What skill do you want him to learn or gain tonight? That's a choice that only you can make. Maybe you decide tonight is the night where I teach him to put his hands on my neck. Maybe you decide you want to make tonight about talking dirty to one another. Maybe you decide that you want to show you riding him in cowgirl or reverse cowgirl.

Pick one thing, tell him "this is what I want tonight". Ask him if he is comfortable trying that thing. Then in as hands on manner as is possible lead him. If you want to teach him about how much grip strength to put onto your neck, then show it by gripping his arm. If you want to teach a new position, lie down or assume the position for him and tell him to copy you. Give him the hand signals run down of what you'll do when you want to stop, ask what signal he wants to signal to stop. Have a dialog written up where you two act out a scene together. There are so many different ways to aid him in learning how to handle you.

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Sad_Stuff8265 OP t1_iyez885 wrote

Ok, I'll try. I'm just concerned that he'll do things just to please me and not really enjoy them himself :(

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