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throwyawayy1 t1_iyd8qx3 wrote

Tbh, that’s really weird and unnecessary. He wasn’t just an ex who she strictly hung out with, but someone who she was sleeping with prior to you. There’s literally no point in going out with an ex as a ‘goodbye’ lmao. As a 21f myself, I can see through her intentions. It’s probably hard for her to let him go, they probably fucked. But at the end of the day, it comes down to how much you trust her

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TheBald_Dude t1_iyd7l65 wrote

Either she did what she said or she got the D one last time. In the end if you trust her you trust her, and if you dont you dont.

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colderbrother t1_iyd83pm wrote

Thats where im struggling, i trust her, i dont think that anything happened. I just feel like weird about the whole thing like im bothered by the fact she went and hung out with her ex regardless of the circumstances. I dont want to be that person tho

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Nicapika503 t1_iyd9aiu wrote

I think it is healthy and great that you are feeling those things because it would be strange if you were into this girl and didn't feel upset about it.

So embrace those feelings in a way that you understand these are normal feelings when you have interest in a partner. As long as she is not visiting the fella any longer you can definitely move past this. You can definitely have boundaries that you are comfortable with moving forward and it sounds like you two have already figured that out.

Say in the future she meets up with him again that would be a deal breaker in my mind because she knows you are uncomfortable with that. If she is a partner worth your time and cares for you she will not put you in those positions moving forward.

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colderbrother t1_iydailv wrote

Thank you, this is what i needed I know i want to be with her and i want to trust her Its just so new the trust hasnt been built yet and i have issues of my own ive been working on But i feel like im not allowed to be upset about things because i want to be with her so i feel insane, thank you

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Nicapika503 t1_iyddon2 wrote

Know that your feelings are valid. It is how you move forward acknowledging those feelings and learning to trust your partner by their actions that will help you. Wish you the best!

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TheBald_Dude t1_iyd8pwg wrote

So .... you dont trust her, stop lying to yourself mate. If you did then her meeting an ex wouldnt be a problem.

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colderbrother t1_iyd98tu wrote

I have pretty severe trust issues that im working on, i dont want to be that person, thats what i need advice on, how do i become more trusting and less neurotic

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