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I say absolutely not - this is between you and your bf. Why is she somehow more trustworthy than him? If you 2 are going to work it out, contacting her is not going to be a positive move. He betrayed you, she didn't, don't make it her business.

Having said that, if it were me I wouldn't be still trying to work it out, cheating is a full stop for me.

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1. He was sorry he got caught, not sorry he did it (or else he would had never done it to begin with)
2. No do not contact her bc who knows if she would even tell the truth. And its likely to stir up more drama. Honestly, id just be done with your bf bc if he can do it so easily once, he will most likely do it again.

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You cant, hes already proven that

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I can't say this strongly enough. NO

It’s your relationship do all the investigating you need to get the whole truth. But common sense, which isn’t always common and it sounds easier than it is, would be to break up with the BF block and go no contact and forget about that woman. She can have him. He can’t be trusted anyways.

There’s no reason to contact her. You know it happened and that’s all the story you need.

I contacted my partners AP and I do not regret it. They didn't know about me. 😥

What good will it do? I know you feel like it’ll make a difference, but it wont. You moving on and bettering yourself is going to make a difference.

Yes, you should. She has a right to know the truth. I've been in this situation before and ended up laughing with my ex's exgirlfriend over the bs he said about me. I let her figure him out for herself but when she reached out to ask me about somethings that seemed odd I told her truth. I wished she would've asked sooner. I didnt volunteer the info before she asked cause I figured she wouldn't believe me cause I was the exwife and he was lying to her but I should've given her a heads up and let her draw her own conclusion.

what’s the point? she might know about you and they already have the story. she may tell you they did hook up but you probably will still stay. you decided to work it out, leave it at that. but just be prepared for heartache down the road.

If you need an outside party to help you trust your bf, your relationship is already broke.

One of the weird things about a liar is that when you’ve caught them, it’s easy to ruminate and focus on trying to figure out all the truths from the lies. You have no need to contact her. He’s already proven than you can’t trust him

Also, I am terribly sorry. At the end of the relationship, one always asks oneself why in search of closure. I always have fallen back on 'well, that sucks burning ass, but it is was it is.' It's a tar pit otherwise.

No, what’s the point? What do you want to achieve? She didn’t promise you loyalty. It’s between you and him.

I did contact an ex of my husband, they were friends but lied to me that they didn’t speak or see each other.. I saw teams messages where she wanted to meet up after our holiday because she wanted to talk things out. I was angry that he lied so in the moment I sent her a message and she suggested to meet up all 3 of us, we did meet up It didn’t make anything better, worse even I would say. It took us a long time to move on from this…