ThommyChi OP t1_iydyoti wrote on November 30, 2022 at 6:11 PM

Reply to comment by Infidelity_9000 in Relationship standards. Is the Man supposed to “Provide”? This is 2022 by ThommyChi

Yes she is. But the thing is, I think it could be a little of My Fault..

When we first met, she had her apartment. She paid for Groceries and her rent. I only paid for us to go out and eat and buy her things. Never asked a penny of me.

Flash forward a year later, we get the house.

It was MY IDEA for her to just pay groceries and electric, while I paid for Rent ($800).

I spoiled her and told her to save her money.

I don’t really think she is a full blown covert narcissist, but how will I know for sure.

To a degree, I feel like I’ve created this beast by taking more responsibility than I should have, but on the other hand the insecurities which give her feelings of doubt in our relationship (Her fear that I would leave her and go back to my parents house because my relationship with them is much better compared to hers with her family)

Her fear that I am planning on leaving her, after she watched stupid fucking tiktoks where the theme is “if he wanted to he would”

She is extremely clingy. I’ve never known a narc to be that way

Infidelity_9000 t1_iydzuuq wrote on November 30, 2022 at 6:18 PM

She's clingy because she knows you're fed up and she wants to keep her lifestyle.

ThommyChi OP t1_iye0q2b wrote on November 30, 2022 at 6:24 PM

I mean she’s ALWAYS been clingy. Like ever since we met. Her lifestyle didn’t really get to the point where she was spending money all the time until I pretty much allowed it when we got the house two years ago.

The only thing that prevents me from leaving, is wondering if she’s just gotten way too comfortable with her lifestyle, because I haven’t held her to the same responsibility I hold myself.

I almost left two weeks ago.

I called Mom up and told her that I’m 90% sure she’s a Covert Narcissist. I had been telling my parents about a lot of the shit she does for the past year.

Mom comes over and brings boxes. I kinda started to break down because I didn’t picture her getting angry and having a meltdown.. I pictured her crying her eyes out and having a panic attack because she has abandonment issues. Her mom did shit like stick her in the closet and leave her when she was a baby.

So Mom kinda talked me out of leaving. Said that her and my dad used to have all kinds of crazy fights and that she used to do some of the things my Gf does. Like say mean disrespectful things and never apologize.

My parents broke up and got back together a bunch when they were our age. Got divorced twice and got back together. They are still together today, even though mom gets super mad at him.

Me and My Mom kinda compare me and my gf’s relationship to her and my dads. Me being more like my Mom and gf being more like my Dad