Submitted by Abject-Rent1395 t3_z924px in relationship_advice

I've been seeing my girl for three years now. Until I was using her phone to make a phone call, and then I saw a Suspicious name message her. She never told me about him, he said it's his gay coworker, asexual coworkeri kinda freak out a little bit and scroll on convo probably like 4 seconds cause she took her phone back. She said she never get a chance to introduce him to her because I'm out of town, but she already talking to him by the time I'm still in town. I saw that the gaydude sent him his pubic hair and told her he will f*ck her in the arse. Its kinda weird cause she didnt felt weird about it, its like its fine for her to tell him that.. so I really want her to cut off her connections with him. But she keep saying she will distance herself, which is not enough for me cause distance doesn't stop connections. I asked her desperately if she will block him or I'm leaving. Desperateley. Cause first of all i didnt know she were talking to this guy long time before i found out. And she really cant cut there connections. She even said he's just a co worker, he's nothing, but still can't block him.

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dbootywarrior t1_iyenzxy wrote

If you're too blind to see whats really going on or the fact that she doesnt value your relationship with her more than his by not accepting your wish of blocking a dude who she lets sends nudes and probably already fucked, then you deserve the prolonged heartbreak thats coming your way. Dont be a doormat and move on.

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Abject-Rent1395 OP t1_iyejpr6 wrote

When I asked her block him or I'm leaving. She said I will distance myself but I can't block him.

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Abject-Rent1395 OP t1_iyekoit wrote

And now she said she want space, like a week space. I'm noy controlling or anything. I even let her when to the guys house and they watch anime lol

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BinkoBankoBonko t1_iyel8aq wrote

> I saw that the gaydude sent him his pubic hair and told her he will f*ck her in the arse.

This stuff is really damn hard to follow. If she is getting pics of this dude's dick and he is saying "I will fuck you in the ass" to her that would cross a major boundary for me and I would instantly cut contact.

After 3 years you can ask to see her conversation IMO. If you saw "I will fuck you in the ass" you deserve some answers. Especially if he was a secret.

E: I will add. If she deleted everything I would consider the relationship over.

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Abject-Rent1395 OP t1_iyelphi wrote

She said he's just like that, that's one of the reason I want her to cut connections with him. I think that's kinda disrespectful to her. And she said the picture of the pubic hair is from Google, which I really doubt. What I can't believe is she can't block him even tho they just said his nothing just a co worker, it's gonna be weird if she blocks her. But she's only gonna work on site for a month then work at home again. I feel really weird about it. And she wants space she want me to give her space, after I tried breaking up with her.

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BinkoBankoBonko t1_iyem8b6 wrote

No. She doesn't need to block him. You need to ask to see the conversations. You saw enough to warrant answers.

He is talking about fucking her ass

She was lying to you by not telling you about him.

Don't feel weird. Get the answers you deserve. If she refuses or deleted everything it is over.

This is very odd.. how can you let her go to the guy's house and watch anime if you don't know he exists?

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