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RelevantJackWhite t1_iyb3emn wrote

What have you done to improve as a person, from how you treated her before? My feeling reading this post is that you're more concerned about getting her back than addressing your behavior that caused her to want a break in the first place.

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No_Nothing_7003 t1_iyb41b2 wrote

I took the steps to improve but she just views it as desperation or panic. Yesterday she told me, "I'm not handling this super well, you being perfect now is just heartbreaking. The most bittersweet." I'm addressing my behavior too late. Bad communication, and resentment took over.

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RelevantJackWhite t1_iyb6cl9 wrote

How did you address what you did to make it right? I think she probably finds it heartbreaking because she sees you are capable of this but won't do it unless she is threatening to leave

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No_Nothing_7003 t1_iyb8v4e wrote

That's what she told me as well. I fear I'm too late. What do I do.

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throwthisaway5638 t1_iyb5cw3 wrote

What’s your end goal? I assume you don’t plan to be long distance forever?

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No_Nothing_7003 t1_iyb5rnc wrote

My job offers relocation after 2 years worked. I'm a year in. She brought up if I can do that on the trip she broke up with me on. She is not moving from NYC. Zero chance.

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throwthisaway5638 t1_iyb6wyv wrote

Your job offers relo, but you’d also have to get a job back in NYC, right?

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No_Nothing_7003 t1_iyb8peg wrote

They'd pay for me moving. It'd be simple. But my fear is it won't matter by then.

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throwthisaway5638 t1_iyb9szb wrote

It’s a pithy statement, but it’s true — if you love someone let them go. If they return, it was meant to be, if they don’t, then it wasn’t.

Given how volatile your relationship has been, a break apart may be the “reset” you need.

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