I need some help. I want to save my relationship with my girlfriend.

Submitted by itachi-_-- t3_z8sqlj in relationship_advice

I'll tell you a short scene. We both are 24. I'm an introvert and she is an extrovert.

My girlfriend had a 3-4 relationship before. And I had none. She is my first girlfriend. Now she started feeling that what if we are together and after 4-5 years I come to her and blame her for not letting me explore (going on a date with other girls is what she means). It's her thoughts. But I just love her a lot. And it never crossed my mind. We feel safe together. We can be vulnerable. It's like we have everything that we want in this relationship.

But then she read a book called " modern romance". and told me to read it and get a reference from it. And I read it. I mean whatever is written in that book makes sense. But do you guys think that we should just listen to whatever is there in that book?

I just don't know how to tell her all this. Please help me with it. Let me know your thoughts on the situation and that book.

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PoorCorrelation t1_iyd1rcf wrote

Are you even interested in casual sex in general? People are all different and painting everyone and their relationships with a broad brush doesn’t work. Your gf needs to understand you’re a person with your own needs (that aren’t just sex with randos) and wants and you don’t see yourself wanting to branch out in a few years.

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itachi-_-- OP t1_iyd271v wrote

No I'm not. I can't have sex if I'm not emotionally attached.

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triaxisman t1_iyd28ib wrote

Here’s the thing, the people who complain they didn’t get a chance to explore are the people who are not happy in their relationship to begin with, and rather than do the work to figure out what they want and ask for it, it’s easier to blame their circumstances.

But you can figure out what you want while in a relationship. If you’re happy and she’s happy, why predict problems that you don’t currently feel? Instead work to build your relationship, and over time see how it goes. Sure it might not work out but that’s true if you have dated a lot or a little. It sounds more like she’s afraid of committing to you and getting hurt, so she’s using this issue to address that fear.

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No-Case-4093 t1_iydh2ls wrote

Did you read the book!

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itachi-_-- OP t1_iydidy1 wrote

Yess I did

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No-Case-4093 t1_iydl49e wrote

Do you have any specific feedback? Parts you disagree with?

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itachi-_-- OP t1_iydq7kh wrote

Not disagree. Just wanted to know if it is okay not to follow it.?

I mean it's telling us to go explore different city. And find your soulmate. But if you feel whatever you are looking for. And you get that in first person. Then is it okay to settle down for the first person and not the other.

Because of course every person is different. And the choices they make are different that's why I'm asking.

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No-Case-4093 t1_iydqg24 wrote

It’s okay not to follow anything.

She is trying to share her feelings. Listen.

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