Thoughts on a man sending crying selfies when you want to leave him?

Submitted by Big-Entertainer6424 t3_z8kz90 in relationship_advice

Thoughts on a man sending crying selfies when you want to leave him?

This is what he sent people I know (via my friends list)

Sorry for messaging you I know that it's wrong for me to do and that you have to tell crystal. Me doing this might want her to end things now. I just really need your help, I fuckin love her so much I am honestly nothing without her in my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to be open with her and tell her things on my mind, but I'm afraid that what I say might push her away even more which I don't want to happen. Sometimes the things I say she takes it the wrong way, and then we end up fighting while her not wanting to talk with me. I absolutely hate fighting with her, no matter what has happened in the past cause of me I'm still deeply in love with her. It's been so long since we've FaceTime or even getting a new picture of her. I cry for her all the time because everything might end between us. If you can please help me. I just want her to understand that I honestly want to open up to her without having to fight every time I say something that bothers me

My video game team

Why did I get kicked?

Ginger replied to _____: There is a long time member here that was uncomfortable with your advances. Please find a new alliance and have fun.

_____ replied to Ginger: I understand can you please tell her to talk to me, I would really like to know what's going on. We really need to talk about this, please just rely the message

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Annonymous1984 t1_iyc3web wrote

Attempted manipulation. Delete and ignore. One of my ex’s had his mum contact me begging me to take him back, as she was scared of what he’d do to himself. I confirmed he was no longer my problem, he did nothing.

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Human-Influence6276 t1_iyceebj wrote

An ex’s mum did this to me after he emotionally abused me for years. Sent me texts of how he was crying himself to sleep every night. I sent her screenshots of how he spoke to me and I haven’t heard from her since.

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PinaColadaFool t1_iyc466r wrote

Would seal the deal 👋

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Big-Entertainer6424 OP t1_iyc4b8f wrote

It did…now he’s contacting people I know begging

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PinaColadaFool t1_iyc4jxr wrote

I'm really sorry that is a terrible situation to be in. Don't engage and ask friends and family not to either.

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Advanced_Passage_492 t1_iyc25b1 wrote

Just no. He should rather man up and address the reasons you want to leave him

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Big-Entertainer6424 OP t1_iyc2baj wrote

He can’t take the thought of me leaving him. He’s been contacting people on my Instagram begging for help. He also reached out to my video game friends

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xseemex t1_iyc2hnm wrote

Weird AF. Lmaooo.

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Important_Sprinkles9 t1_iyc2tqs wrote

This is narc 101. Not saying he is one, but it's very manipulative. If you want to leave, however sad the other person becomes, you should be able to. Politely ask your friends to not indulge him because you've made your decision.

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EauDeComiconShoulder t1_iyc41pa wrote

It's disingenuous and blatantly manipulative when a woman does it. If a guy did it, I wouldn't even get to feeling gaslit because I'd be too busy laughing.

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Nyxs55 t1_iyc4dtq wrote

Oh god, I have received one in the past… it’s just cringy. Didn’t react.

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00Lisa00 t1_iyc542g wrote

This is verging on stalker territory. Tell him you don’t appreciate him trying to rope your friends into your break up and that it’s over. And then block him. Tell every friend he’s contacted to tell him the same thing

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Big-Entertainer6424 OP t1_iyc57md wrote

I did tell him that. I have kids and I’m pretty scared

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00Lisa00 t1_iyc5d6k wrote

You might need to get a protection order. Send him one text telling him to cease contacting you and your friends or you will contact the police. Then block

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Big-Entertainer6424 OP t1_iyc5m9o wrote

He’s in the military. My friend said he does one more thing to contact the commander

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Cool_Story_Bro__ t1_iycbxs5 wrote

Yea tell him every message he sends to your friends is one more clear signal that you made the right decision. And if he contacts you or anyone again you are contacting his commanding officer and the police.

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Objective_Flan_9967 t1_iyc57mk wrote

Say it with me.... Ma... Ni.... Pu... La... Tion.... Manipulation.

He may also have a very dependent relationship stile which would make it worse...

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Big-Entertainer6424 OP t1_iyc59vu wrote

What do you mean worst? I’m kind of scared

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Objective_Flan_9967 t1_iyc60ki wrote

I'm not sure how to explain it... He feels like he needs you to survive, he may turn to stalking you to try to "win yoy back".

You have to make it clear to him that what he is doing is unacceptable, and if he cont, get a restraining order

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TheSaltRose t1_iyc5bip wrote

It’s manipulation pure and simple.

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Nectarine_smasher t1_iyc5mom wrote

Everyone should just ignore him. He's trying to manipulate people into sympathy with the hope of guilttripping you back into the relationship. I read no real self-reflection, only how much of a victim he is in this situation and you're the offender since you "always pick a fight because you misunderstand him".

This behaviour is just so toxic overall... leave him and never look back, he has some serious issues to overcome and since you're not his therapist, you're not responsible.

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cassowary32 t1_iyc61f5 wrote

That's creepy and manipulative. You dump him but don't block him. This kind of crazy escalates and you'll want to have something to report to the police for when you need a restraining order.

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jamuntan t1_iych1r4 wrote

this is 100000% him manipulating you and everyone you care about so you'd feel pressured to get back with him. my ex cut his palm and sent me a picture and called all my friends crying.

once he was sure i wasn't coming back, he talked shit about me to all his friends, my friends, their boyfriends and even talked shit about my family.

LEAVE

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JenantD80 t1_iycj569 wrote

Childish and Manipulative AF!

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MusicLava1983 t1_iycjar4 wrote

CRYING SELFIES???????? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DUDE. I'm sorry I'm sorry but the thought of a grown man, crying and then taking a picture of himself is just too fucking.... DUDE, this can't be real

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IllVast4743 t1_iycmavp wrote

He is not a man then, go find a real man.

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Correct-Sprinkles-21 t1_iycs66d wrote

Anybody sending crying selfies, man or woman, is trying to manipulate your emotions. And that's ick.

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MelkorTheWicked t1_iyc4hs2 wrote

So he isn't allowed to show emotion? It's no different than a woman crying over a breakup. If you feel the relationship has run it's course end it but don't treat him like he shouldn't have emotions, that's the type of toxic shit we are trying to get rid of in men. Validate his feelings but let him know you are not interested anymore. As for those saying he should man up...fuck that, it can't be both ways here. You can't expect men to be more in touch with their feelings to be a better partner but expect them to not express those feelings.

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Big-Entertainer6424 OP t1_iyc4mdn wrote

Not sure if you read the whole post. He’s literally stalking my friends list and begging them for help. He also contacted someone on my video game list with the same ish.

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MelkorTheWicked t1_iyc4wzb wrote

I read it but that doesn't change the response about him expressing his feelings. You should still end the relationship.

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00Lisa00 t1_iyc5j64 wrote

This isn’t just expressing feelings. This is contacting pretty much everyone she knows to try and get others to buy into his stalking. Because that is what this is. It isn’t just expressing feelings it’s obsessive and could turn dangerous

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MelkorTheWicked t1_iyc5r0q wrote

It could be stalking or it could be the desperate attempt of a man in love. I told her to leave regardless

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Nectarine_smasher t1_iyc5ujo wrote

He's not expressing his feelings, he's pulling the victim card in an attempt to guilttrip OP back in a relationship through her friends, pure manipulation and toxicity

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MelkorTheWicked t1_iyc63nh wrote

How the hell do you know? Are you in that relationship? Do you know the person in question? You have one side of a story, I am simply saying it is possible that it is a desperate attempt to salvage a relationship. People are so narrow minded and quick to jump to negativity.

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Big-Entertainer6424 OP t1_iyc51hv wrote

Yes you’re right about the feelings part

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MelkorTheWicked t1_iyc582o wrote

Don't get me wrong, the behavior can definitely be viewed as manipulation but as they say, a drowning man will clutch at a straw.

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