TyphoonCane t1_iyf7upg wrote on November 30, 2022 at 11:08 PM

You don't get to turn your attractive parts on and off like a flashlight. The kindness that drew you in is the same kindness you despise him showing others. It just doesn't work that way. Either learn to accept that this is part of why you chose him or pick someone who isn't as kind.

penny4athought t1_iyfbedn wrote on November 30, 2022 at 11:34 PM

Hard pass, he's showing he xan turn it on and off like a flashlight when his actions are going to affect her, and only her. He thinks that she'll just love him unconditionally, his actions be damned. No way, doesn't work that way. He's just being inconsiderate

imnobodyhavenobody t1_iyfbq8m wrote on November 30, 2022 at 11:37 PM

Thank you for understanding what I’m trying to say. He will always be a kind person I get that but I just ask that he considers my feelings sometimes before he agrees to do something for someone else

imnobodyhavenobody t1_iyf8o35 wrote on November 30, 2022 at 11:14 PM

I love that he’s kind and I wouldn’t want him to change who he is but I just want to be put first sometimes. It feels like my needs come last because he worries about everyone else. It’s not nice when your planning a weekend together and he leaves early because his mom misses him. I understand sometimes things come up but it’s every week, I don’t think it’s unfair to feel hurt that my feelings aren’t taken into consideration

TyphoonCane t1_iyf9ux1 wrote on November 30, 2022 at 11:23 PM

I'll be honest, I don't really care how you feel in this instance. It's not about you. It's about a trait you picked in a partner and now want him to be able to be a flashlight. It just does not work that way. Kindness gets shown to the people he interacts with. That is part of his essence. The kind man is kind because he wants to be good to others. His mom is part of it, you ma'am are part of it. You do not get to pick and choose when he is kind. You do not have that kind of controller. You get to pick him or not him. That's your locust of control.

imnobodyhavenobody t1_iyfakv6 wrote on November 30, 2022 at 11:28 PM

But is it kind to constantly leave me? Let me down over and over? My issue really is that he’s not treating me with respect to please someone else. He’s so busy trying to be good to others who don’t care about him that he won’t do the same for me. I’d do anything for him I just want the same back