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Bryanormike t1_iyc2c9p wrote

You are equally disrespecting your partner in such a childish way and its not good for either of you. Stop "joking" when it sounds like you have something to actually say.

Just say it.

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elchocholoco t1_iycangk wrote

Is it op or the gf making the joke? The way I read is the gf is making jokes about this guy being the side piece.

The way Ive understood this is op asked a probing question in a lackadaisical way (btw don't do this, if you want to know something ask seriously) and his gf responded by saying this guy, who she flirted with and openly has a crush on her, is her side piece. Then when asked seriously, she gets defensive.

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kerkasmokecrack t1_iyccfg6 wrote

She made the joke about him being her side piece , I get it’s a joke but then she got defensive and yelled at me. And what I was trying to say is that she always gets defensive when something doesn’t go her way. Yes I acknowledge my fault I won’t be doing it anymore I just don’t know how to act because whatever I do it’s the same answer and reaction

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kerkasmokecrack t1_iyc38sj wrote

At first it was not a serious question as I didn’t really care to meet him, but when I saw that she got annoyed then I wanted to know why

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Bryanormike t1_iyc78iq wrote

She probably got annoyed because it's not a funny joke, especially when you keep repeating it.

Again you had something to say so rTher than repeatedly asking the question childishly you should've told her that you wanted a serious discussion.

It's no surprise she got annoyed or angry at you. It's a very childish way to go about things. Especially when you're basically saying you don't trust her or what you're gonna try to spin it as you don't trust him.

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kerkasmokecrack t1_iycbc4f wrote

Yes I agree it would be childish. But it was not a joke I didn’t explain myself correctly , it was a question, why you don’t want me to meet him, that’s it. The thing is she struggles with communication, over a year I was very patient not pushing her and not forcing when I see that she gets mad. But she ignores every question that she wants , it’s not a way do to thing either , I’m just starting to loose my patience sometimes cause it’s not a easy situation to be in. I didn’t say I dont trust her , I do , but I don’t get why she gets mad especially when you ask her about strange things that happen in our relationship. Hope I explained myself right. I acknowledge that I shouldn’t repeat the question but you cannont ignore every question, it’s been a year like that and it’s the first time I said something back

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Bryanormike t1_iyccqqr wrote

Sounds like you both struggle to communicate a bit. In your post you say you ask her non seriously (what the hell does that mean) but then you got serious when it made her upset.

Youre both dancing around just being serious. I can see why you'd be annoyed if you feel like you can't have a serious conversation about your relationship but you're doing this as you're describing how you failed to start off a serious conversation. Which is equally as annoying.

Try this next time. Sit her down and tell her you want to have a serious conversation about you two having trouble communicating. How you want to stop dancing around serious topics. Every time you want to have a serious conversation you yourself need to be serious. Rather than ask a question repeatedly point out that they're ignoring the question and tell them how it makes you feel.

Again. The way you went about things is pretty accusatory and the way you speak about the guy makes it sound like you do think some kind of way. So you can idk tell me you trust her but your post is basically a big ass "idk my girlfriend being a lil sus" post.

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kerkasmokecrack t1_iycewvy wrote

What I meant by not seriously is when I asked her when could I meet him ( I didn’t really want to meet him) and then asked why she doesn’t want me to meet him. She dit defensive and started yelling at me. Yes I got that I should not do “jokes” anymore it was childish from me, but I have reached a limit, her not communicating and always getting defensive. Yes I agree with you , it’s the correct way do to it, it’s been one year since I try to do it , but it’s always the same result. Well I did not want to accuse her of anything but yeah it’s a little bit suspicious for me when she gets so defensive when asked a question that she doesn’t want. I get my error and already told her that I’m sorry for the way I asked but yelling at me and getting so defensive it’s not correct either . I just want to know what’s happening cause everytime there’s something that should be explained she yells at me and ignores me

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