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NorthernLitUp t1_iy9261h wrote

What you do for your wife is promise that you will take a step back from this "friendship" with your "best friend." Drunk or not is no excuse. And who is putting pressure on a married man to cheat with a coworker? Because anyone who does that is an awful person that you should definitely not be partying with.

Your "friend" was out of line and the price of that is a step back from the friendship. Your wife come first. Full stop.

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throwaway0192737373 t1_iy937of wrote

Yeah sure I could go a bit less contact with my best friend until my wife calmed down. We both fucked up and there is no excuse.

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NorthernLitUp t1_iy93cx4 wrote

Not until your wife calms down. This should be a permanent step back. Your friend does not respect your marriage

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throwaway0192737373 t1_iy94jzr wrote

She apologized. She is also my best friend, I can’t just end our friendship over a mistake.

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Yummy_Yummy20 t1_iy962pw wrote

The priority is your wife. You don't get to have a '' friend'' that gets drunk, bites your neck, and completely disrespect your marriage and wife. You cut her off or your marriage will probably be toast.

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FashionSuckMan t1_iy92zog wrote

No more contact with that friend

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throwaway0192737373 t1_iy93bws wrote

That’s a bit too much. It’s not like we had sex or something. It was a stupid mistake. I will have less contact with her for now.

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SelectPost1601 t1_iy93sa9 wrote

Are they really a friend if they disrespect your marriage boundaries? Seems to me like you don’t want to let go… yikes getting fishy here.

Also drunk or not, sitting on your lap and biting you was way out of line. Seems like your friend group is childish and trashy. Change that or lose your wife dude. Up to you.

Baffling how adults act this way. Your poor wife.

Best of luck to you.

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[deleted] OP t1_iy93wls wrote

She put your marriage at risk, she knew it would hurt your wife, yet she did it. Why are you defending her?

Alcohol is no excuse, drunken actions are sober thoughts.

A real friend would tell the people pressuring to do that to "back off, this is my platonic friend and he is happily married"

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FashionSuckMan t1_iy93if7 wrote

You're gonna have to just talk with your wife about it but it seems like she's gonna be pretty insecure with you hanging out with that friend. Insecurity a bitch

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EmperorSkyTiger t1_iy97lvq wrote

Not just a bitch, it's a pernicious poison. Broken trust is a very difficult thing to rebuild.

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svifted t1_iy958vy wrote

I do not think you really came for advice as you refuse to accept that if someone does not respect your marriage and your wife you need to cut contact.

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Indecks9999 t1_iy948g6 wrote

this will depend on your wife, not some random people on the internet. now is the time for you to be communicating with her, and if she is not ready, than its your time to wait for her to be ready and let her know that your there for her.

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omninascent t1_iy95yl0 wrote

Yikes, yeah I think you just have to humble pie this one and work on your boundaries. Life is full of lessons, you just need to respond to this in a productive way. You’ve got to show her that you’re hers only at this point. You should consider changing how you interact with work and your social circle to put an end to the possibility of that happening again, and do it in a way that your wife sees. If I were you I’d find a weekly thing that you two can do alone (i.e. pottery class [use Google]) together so that you can invest into your relationship and hopefully reestablish trust, but it’s going to take time. Granted this was pretty small in the grand scheme of things you’ll need to understand that this has hurt her in a very big way… it’s going to take a big response over a long period of time to recover.. and it’s probably going to come up again and again so be prepared for being open to understanding what she’s feeling when it comes up again. Yeah man, the dog house sucks… just own it.

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