Friend. Read this whole post back to yourself, but as if a friend is asking you this question- like she wrote the post, not you. What would you tell your friend who you care about if she asked you this? I am your friend now. Don't open a door that should be closed. You are clearly hurting, and it's clouding your judgment. I strongly encourage you to seek therapy as a way to move forward. That way, you don't have to look back.